“If we meet each other in hell, it’s not hell.” – Geoffrey Hill
“On the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and I wanted to look at you.” – Mahmoud Darwish
“Sunshine all the time makes a desert.” – Arabic proverb
These kinds of quotes are scattered around my room, gently stuck to my doors and mirrors with washi tape. The words are written on index cards cut into shapes or on rainbow-patterned sticky notes. Bits of paper are placed delicately among my Polaroids on string lights, framed photos and artwork. Some of them have been written in black felt-tip ink, others in yellow or red and decorated with careful strokes of neon highlighter or tiny scribbled flowers. Words reminiscent of timeless love rest among my five-dollar roses from the store down the street. One of my favorite lines from a Mitski song sits above my keys. A Latin phrase written in black and pink dry-erase marker decorates my wall.
I found all these quotes on Pinterest, where I admittedly spend too much time. I have twelve boards, thousands of pins, and most of them are carefully organized. Everything from outfit inspiration to tattoos to my countless pop culture obsessions is accounted for. Art tips and fancy dresses and Tumblr posts analyzing the deepest facets of a film fill my home page. My best friend has accurately described it as “chaotic”. But despite how the mess of information fits my personality so well, this new obsession with finding quotes to put on my wall has been confusing. Pinterest offers me thousands to choose from and I always pick ones that pull at something in me. The squeeze I feel in my chest whenever I read someone’s striking literary genius is just so emotional. It really is hard to describe. Part of me thinks it’s the hopeless romantic in me, trying to find ways to express her love for her friends and for life. Maybe it’s that someone else just put feelings into words better than I could. Most of the quotes I’ve put up thus far have been about love, loss and friendship. All of these things have been constant in my life, so I suppose it makes sense to seek out words that help me feel understood. As much as I am proud of my writing style, sometimes Mahmoud Darwish or Emily Brontë or Richard Siken say more than I know how to.
Even things like song lyrics matter so much to me. Music has always been an outlet for me, whether for grief or happiness, inspiration or frustration. A good friend of mine sends me music frequently and even though our tastes are wildly different, there’s always something about the songs he sends me. I have always paid attention to titles and lyrics, picking apart every piece of a song. I find so much significance in the writing. Little pieces of lyrics, whether bittersweet or empowering, find their homes on my desk drawers and mirrors. I’ve read about frisson, a French term meaning “aesthetic chills” and have found that it is a strangely relatable feeling. According to Frontiers, frisson is essentially a physical and psychological response to music or similar stimuli resulting in “chills” or goosebumps on the body. Finding a word for this kind of feeling has made it a little more magical for me.
It’s hard to truly express how much these quotes matter to me. It’s like stress relief, to a degree. Being able to set aside a moment to write one down and make it fit my space feels fulfilling. I’ve always been someone who pays attention to the little things, and being able to create a space for myself that emphasizes the little emotions and reminds me that the world is so much more colorful than it seems makes a huge difference. I can only hope my world is full of walls and doors to decorate with the most beautiful words.
“Come on, dance with me. The earth is spinning. We can’t just stand on it.” – Dino Ahmetović