Growing up, I always felt different from other girls. While I loved “Barbie” and the color pink, I also really gravitated towards watching shows like “Power Rangers” and playing Spider-Man games on the Wii with my brother. Later, I also learned how to play games like “Halo” and “Call of Duty” on my Xbox 360. Since I started playing video games fairly young, I ended up having many male friends as I went through grade school. By the time I reached middle school, my entire friend group was guys, apart from two girls which quickly turned into one after a stint of bullying that persisted through all my school years.
Initially, I was overjoyed to at least have some friends, especially ones whom I could relate to because of our shared love of stereotypically “boy” hobbies. However, it also felt incredibly isolating. When things like talking about crushes or experiencing my period for the first time arose, I felt I had no one to connect to. This led me to seek out an all-girls school, which are incredibly common in St. Louis, for high school.
High school felt like a whirlwind. I had the chance to make new friends, but it also frightened me because what if none of the girls there had anything in common with me? What if they all loved shopping, makeup and parties, all of which are stereotypically “girly” activities that I did not identify with?
Obviously, girls with the same interests as me existed and continue to, but at that time I truly felt like I would not meet girls like me outside of my online engagements. Even when I did find the only two girls in my tiny school with similar interests, I realized my junior year that was not actually the issue I was having. With all relationships, there is give and take, and that is what I was missing.
Even if I did not love shopping, I could learn to enjoy it because of who I was with, just like my friends may not love the games I play, but they could enjoy them if I explained the plot to them or taught them how to play. After discovering that, it was like a switch flipped and I could finally connect with other girls. It was amazing.
Now, I am a senior in college living with three other girls in an on-campus apartment and I could not be happier. I still play video games and nerd out about them to my roommates, but I also love nothing more than having a wine night and watching “The Bachelorette” for the first time in my life or streaming “Dancing With the Stars” just to bond with them. We can go shopping for clothes one day and bake, then geek out about “Mario Kart” the next, and it does not hurt anyone because we all love each other and consequently love each others’ hobbies.
You do not need everything to be the same as your friends. Having your own interests is healthy and it is a good thing. Having female friends has truly changed me for the better as it has made me more empathetic, sensitive and relatable in a way that would not have been possible if I only hung out with guys my whole life.
So go out there, dare to be the odd one out and risk the awkwardness for a lifetime of beautiful, fun female friendships in college. They are so important for not only your personal growth but also provide you with bonds you can cherish forever.