This fall semester, the first semester of my senior year of college, I have gone out a total of maybe five times. Freshman-year me would be absolutely appalled by this development, thinking there’s no way that I wouldn’t be taking full advantage of being 21 and going out to bars every chance I could get. Well, surprise! My friends and I actually all ordered one singular drink at dinner last night and didn’t feel the unwavering urge to drink until we were drunk. Crazy, I know.
As seniors, my roommates and I have naturally been reminiscing about our freshman and sophomore year selves. “Oh, the good old days.” I am definitely guilty of feeling nostalgic and acting dramatic when it comes to all of my “lasts.” Along with that, it seems as though I just moved into my freshman-year dorm. “That feels like yesterday!” It feels like so little time has passed that I often forget how much I have changed.
Long gone are the days of going to Grand Dining Hall at 5 p.m. every Friday and eating a fried chicken patty before pregaming Paddy O’s with Twisted Teas and Pink Whitney shots. Ew. Now, you’ll probably find me sitting on my living room couch, tea in hand, watching “The Hunger Games” for the third time this week with my roommates on a Friday night. The movie will end by 10, and we’ll be fast asleep in our respective bedrooms by 10:30. Sounds lame? Well, we aren’t 19 anymore. We may not be old, but we know what we enjoy and we know what is going to serve us mentally, emotionally and socially. And we’re going to do exactly that.
When I was 19, I may have gone to more frat parties, self-tanned every Thursday and had a lot more “friends.” In reality, I wasn’t all that happy with myself. I was insecure, cared about what other people thought and was just trying my hardest to do the things I thought a 19-year-old was supposed to be doing. Although I am not doing as many things that would normally pop into your mind when you think about “a fun college student,” I am much happier with my life. This is another sign that I really have grown up since entering college. It may feel like I just got here, but I have grown immensely since I first stepped foot on campus in 2020 during an unprecedented pandemic. Sure, I might have more “crazy” college stories from my first two years, but the habits that I have formed now as a woman in her early 20s have taught me what it really means to “find yourself” in college.
I’ve always felt young, and I am fully aware that I am still so young in the grand scheme of my life, but lately, I’ve started feeling “old” for the first time. When I go home for breaks, I spend the majority of my time watching “Jeopardy” with my parents and catching up on books I’ve been wanting to read. I wear coats when I go out to the bars in the winter. Sorry, I’m over being freezing cold in a tiny tank top. I also just found out that Snapchat Plus is a thing?
Those seniors I met my freshman year were right: college really does go by fast. While I would love to do college all over again, I can’t. I am so grateful for each and every experience I have had in college (all the good ones, and yes, the bad ones too). It’s clear that I’m not 19 anymore, but that’s okay. With age comes maturity and the ability to appreciate the simple joys of adulting. I may not be going out this weekend, but I am honestly looking forward to doing my laundry tonight.