When navigating the dating world, every person seeks certain personality traits in a future partner. The term “green flag” indicates quality traits or behaviors that exhibit healthy and mature behavior. Through meeting many guys who definitely aren’t ready for a relationship, or at least a healthy one, I wonder if there are men who pass the basic standards. I love watching romantic comedies, and I’ve noticed that Hugh Grant, a soft British man with an awkward charm, possesses the green flags we must look for when entering a relationship.
Patience
“Notting Hill” (1999) is a classic romantic comedy highlighting the range of Grant’s talents. In this film, his character William Thacker is a charming travel bookstore owner who is graced by the presence of high-profile actress Anna Scott, played by Julia Roberts. Soon, Grant is pulled into the acclaimed world of paparazzi at his door, constant press releases and insecurities. However, Grant’s character exhibits the utmost patience with Roberts’ character as she explores her feelings for him along with the chaotic life in Hollywood. Patience is attractive because it reflects how a person acts when deciding about their future. The right person will wait for their partner to be ready and respect their choices. A bonus green flag in Grant’s character is his humor and willingness to be a part of Scott’s life.
Loyalty
In “Four Weddings and a Funeral” (1994), Grant plays Charles, a love-struck puppy who dares to leave the altar to follow the love of his life. Setting aside his punctuality flaws, he cares deeply for the people around him, including his flatmate Scarlet and his deaf brother, David. He is clearly present for his friends when they need him, even to attend their weddings. Like all iconic romantic comedies, the two eloquently profess their love for one another in the pouring rain, alleviating their emotion-avoidant behavior. It shows growth in their relationship that they will be better communicators in the future, which is all anyone can ask for in a partnership.
Loyalty and accountability are great qualities in a partner. I planned to go on a date a few weeks ago, but he never wanted to meet in person. He constantly pushed back times to meet for a myriad of reasons. After two cancellations, I wished him well. I have learned from going on dates that accountability and being honest are related—making excuses shows signs of emotional immaturity, which is ared flag.
Respect
I initially pressed play on “Two Weeks Notice” (2002) because I am a huge fan of actress Sandra Bullock. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that her character, Lucy Kelson—a stubborn environmental lawyer—would find herself in a precarious position with George Wade, played by Grant, who acts as a classic bachelor billionaire. In the film, Lucy becomes George’s lawyer fighting for a community center. Although George fronts as a chauvinistic man, he displays complete respect and trust for Lucy early in the film. He finds her attractive but never makes a move, respecting her boundaries. When speaking about her to others, George characterizes her as intelligent instead of just beautiful. For instance, in the film, Lucy leaves her position and sets out to find a replacement. During the hiring meeting, George’s new lawyer quotes a line from George about the community center. At this moment, George walks through the door and gives full credit to Lucy. He demonstrates remarkable maturity and respect, which are great attributes. George has many green flag traits in this movie, like how he is funny and will genuinely listen to Lucy when she is speaking in the office and out. Most people find that being genuinely listened to is an essential quality in a partner and is one reason Lucy falls deeply for George.
Initiative and Humbleness
“Love Actually” (2003) is a time-honored Christmas movie where Grant plays a charismatic Prime Minister. He has a fantastic sense of humor and is a great people person. In one scene, he looks for his personal assistant, Natalie, who is played by Martine McCutcheon. The caveat is that he only knows what street she lives on, and so he knocks on every door to find her. As he strolls down the street, he comes across a home with three little girls. They mistakenly think he is a Christmas caroller and ask him to sing. While hesitant at first, he enthusiastically sings “Good King Wenceslas,” much to the delight of the dancing girls. It is a green flag to be flexible and have a sense of humor while doing it. Grant’s character knocking on every door in the street exhibits the classic saying, “If he wanted to make an effort, he would.” This character Grant portrays has an alluring personality and many green flags that I appreciate.
Emotional Maturity
In “The Rewrite” (2014), one of Grant’s newer romantic comedy movies, he plays a college professor lecturing on screenwriting. At the film’s beginning, he is an unlikeable character portraying many glaring red flags. He proclaims that strong women in movies are irrelevant and is awkwardly rude to his female department head. On the contrary, he cares deeply for the success of his students. He patiently listens to his student script ideas, even the ones with no plot. At one point, he realizes the talent of one of his students and sets them up to meet with the bigwigs of Hollywood. Recognizing his mentee’s readiness to be independent without guidance takes great maturity. In many of Grant’s movie personas, he presents his character as patient toward others platonically and romantically. It is a testament to how Grant develops his characters to be inviting to all types of relationships.
The dating world is complex and intricate, and people seek different values for a companion. Everyone pursues different types of people to find someone who shares their vision of how they want to be treated. My green flag list is the foundation of what I look for in my future partner. Grant has set standards for how guys should treat their future partners. I highly recommend watching these movies, especially “Notting Hill” and “Four Weddings and a Funeral” (for which he won a BAFTA). At the end day, the green flags you seek indicate that when you look at your partner across the room, you know that you are being treated well and feel safe.