I have a Spotify playlist for every feeling. Heartbreak? Check. Feeling blue? Check again. Angry? Well, yeah. But how many of us are really motivated to let out one of our least bearable emotions through music? In my opinion, it’s actually one of the best things you can do for yourself.
I am a self-proclaimed music lover, with my largest playlist containing over 600 songs. I’ve been carefully curating my playlists since middle school, selecting the best songs for every mood. My music taste has stayed relatively the same over time, but it’s resulted in pretty elaborate playlists. Despite my diligence in creating the most appropriate selection, it had never really occurred to me that a playlist could help me relieve one of my most difficult feelings: anger.
I have never known “how” to be angry. It was always one of those things that felt too draining, too loud and too sharp. Anger is not seen as feminine and portraying the strong emotion is not socially acceptable. Anger usually ended up with me having to apologize for even being upset, even when the anger was not the result of an issue I initially caused. My reactions to injustice and mistreatment were met with comments saying I was overreacting. I am the type of person to have a high emotional tolerance, so when I get angry, it’s something people don’t expect. Having the patience to deal with people is a good thing, but not when it comes at the cost of justifying my emotions. Realizing that I’ve been suppressing one of my most natural emotions has been really eye-opening, especially as I have been trying to better care for myself.
It’s been a long challenge, thinking about how to cope with deep-seated anger. I’ve tried the whole “write an angry letter and throw it away” trend. I’ve tried therapy. I’ve tried just accepting the situation. But in the end, nothing helped me as much as music did. Music gave me the space to experience my emotions without feeling judged. I could remove myself from an upsetting situation by focusing on a song instead. Sometimes songs about injustices or sadness feel like a deep connection, and it becomes a sort of affirmation that my feelings are valid. Genres like metal and dubstep tend to sound heavier and angrier anyway, so being able to find music that fits my vibe is comforting. “Angry” music doesn’t just have to be something upbeat and loud, it can be lyrics that you relate to or sounds that really feel emotional. I let that anger take on whatever form I see fit.
In the end, music is one of the best outlets I’ve found for my emotions. I’ve got a playlist for just about everything, and it wouldn’t feel quite as complete without one that digs into the darker side. Every aspect of my emotional self is valid, and despite the long journey it’s taken to say that, a little goes a long way. So, I don’t know about you, but some System of a Down sounds incredible right now.
Follow me on Spotify! You can listen to “rage” there and see what I mean.