Every girl dreams of the excitement of opening an envelope to find her future home. But what no one expects is the burden that comes after running home. As a former sorority girl, I understand this feeling so well. Joining a sorority was something I looked forward to when starting college. I was excited for the opportunity to be a part of an important philanthropy and make connections with amazing girls. During the rush process, I could see all the girls’ passions, and I had the opportunity to meet some incredible people. On Bid Day, I was excited to run to my forever home.
Shortly after I ran home, I began having doubts about sorority life. I noticed how many of the girls were completely different than when I met them during the rush process. Girls I had thought were super sweet and welcoming suddenly became snarky and insensitive. What made this even worse was the realization of how fake the rush process was. During recruitment training, each sorority spends weeks practicing fake conversations with each other and making scripts for conversations with potential new members. The conversations I had with the girls that I thought were unique ended up being fake.
While I knew being in a sorority would be some sort of a financial burden, I didn’t expect it to be as big of a deal as it was. After being in the sorority for a couple of months, we had to pay our first set of dues. While other new members and I weren’t surprised at how much we had to pay, we were surprised with how our so-called “sisters” treated us due to our late payments. My friends and I all had terrible things going on in our lives that prevented us from being able to get dues in on time. Those in our sisterhood who were supposed to show us compassion and offer a helping hand instead shamed us for not paying our dues in time through passive aggressive texts, harassing our friends to remind us to pay our dues and showed no sympathy for the things we were going through at the time. Keep in mind we were less than a week late on dues.
You might be wondering why an almost $700 fee per semester is so important and honestly, I couldn’t tell you. I can tell you that it didn’t cover expenses for sorority apparel or anything we had to purchase for Initiation and other sorority events. It most likely went to venues for our events, but I can’t imagine how renting a couple of small bars in shady areas in downtown St. Louis would require 150 girls to pay $700 per semester, especially considering that fraternities pay significantly smaller dues but still do all of the same events.
Here’s my advice for anyone who’s going through recruitment: you should definitely do it if you are thinking about it. Even if you don’t end up getting a bid from the sorority you wanted, you will still meet a lot of your peers through this process. However, there are a couple of things you can look for to make sure you don’t end up in a bad situation. When going through recruitment, compare your experiences with your friends who are rushing. Double-check and make sure your conversations are unique and meaningful before you commit to a certain sorority. I would also suggest asking questions and making sure being in a sorority is the right thing for you. Do your research and be informed about what the process looks like and what comes with being in a sorority.
From my experience, being in a sorority was an overwhelming experience. Having two-hour long mandatory chapter meetings every week as well as going through a cultic initiation process took up more of my time than I expected. My experience being in a sorority is not unique, but it is also not the worst experience anyone has ever had. Horror stories of Greek Life are so common we are almost desensitized to them. While I think everyone can have good and bad experiences in Greek life, I think it is safe to keep an eye out for people and situations that can create a toxic environment for you.