“Do you remember in kindergarten how you’d meet a kid and know nothing about them, and then ten seconds later, you’re playing like you’re best friends, because you didn’t have to be anyone other than yourself?”
“Yeah.”
“Singing with you felt like that, like kindergarten.”
“Well, I never thought about singing.”
If you grew up in the magical era of the early 2000s watching Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez capture everyone’s hearts in their iconic film, “High School Musical,” you might recognize the scene above. It is a scene between the couple, addressing Troy’s fears about what people might think of him when they find out he likes to not only play basketball but sing too! *Gasp!* Gabriella does a great job of calming his impending fears of not being accepted; she reminds him that when they sing together, all is right in the world because it takes them back to the good ole’ days, just like being in kindergarten. The simple days of life. That feeling of I-don’t-have-to-be-anyone-other-than-myself is transformational in the way we approach our everyday lives. Maybe if we learn to shift our perspective back to how we saw the world in kindergarten, we might learn how to care better for those around us.
Bob Chapman, author of “Truly Human Leadership,” has a similar perspective on how he believes we can take the lens of caring for those around us established in kindergarten to positively impact people’s lives. He takes this idea and applies it to the workforce, which can be used as a place for creating meaningful relationships. He believes that because we spend so much of our time at work, we must learn to act as a force for good by showing our co-workers and classmates that we… drumroll please:
Care.
Here’s the thing: understanding that we already have the skills and courage to care is the first step in transforming how we treat those around us. “How does that make you feel?” is such an easy question to ask your coworker to demonstrate empathy and create a real connection. The art of caring is a skill we have to learn over time. Now, caring does not mean we are negating our work or the bottom line in business. It simply does three things:
- First, caring demonstrates empathetic listening. Sometimes, we all just need someone to care, even if it’s only for five minutes. Empathetic listening can enhance relationships and the culture at the workplace. Employees who demonstrate empathetic listening are:
- Ten times more likely to recommend their company as a great place to work.
- Nine times more likely to stay at their company for three or more years.
- Seven times more likely to feel included.
- Four times less likely to suffer from stress and burnout.
- Two times as likely to be engaged in their work.
- Second, it teaches people how to celebrate and affirm those around them who they may not usually do this with. In the beginning, it might be uncomfortable, at which point, it is vital to remember that it will continue to be uncomfortable until you reach the threshold of being comfortable with it. It will be more worthwhile because your life will be built upon real connections.
- Lastly, it enables people to seize the opportunity of their day to serve those around them. You know what they say, “Caring is sharing.” Whether it’s sharing your time, energy, or ability with others, you can serve those in your community simply by caring.
When you understand that human life is invaluable, you are reminded to change the way you treat them. Just like you were taught in kindergarten. It isn’t something you can ask people to do, it is simply shifting your perspective back in time to the good ole’ days.
It’s funny how simple life seemed back in kindergarten: Wake up, eat pancakes for breakfast–chocolate chip ones if you’re lucky–head to school, spend half the day memorizing your address and reciting it back to your teacher, play duck, duck, goose, share your goldfish at snack time, go to the library and that’s everything you do before nap time. These experiences, this type of simplicity, and this authentic way of living are captured well in a book by Robert Fulghum. He wrote about this philosophy in a book titled “All I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” While I do recommend reading this book for yourself, I’ll provide a glimpse into his perspective. He starts by saying:
“Share everything. Play fair. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life— learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. … And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”
Understanding how this shift of perspective may seem counterintuitive or childish. However, it is the most influential thing to help instill a culture of caring and developing genuine connections. Going back to the basics, sharing and caring, could be exactly what the world needs. Could it all really be that simple?
Who knows, maybe what was once unnoticeable or deemed impossible may gloriously become possible.
Like Kindergarten.