“Last night we let the liquor talk. I can’t remember everything you said but you said it all.”
Did you start belting out the lyrics too? Or, was that just me?
The above lyrics come from a song called “Last Night” by Morgan Wallen, a singer-songwriter who is making his name not only in the country music industry, but also the pop music industry. It climbed to the top of the US country charts after only two weeks of being released. Not only that, but it reached the top of Billboard Top 100 charts and leapt from spot five to Number one on Mar. 18, 2023. It was the first time Wallen’s song had earned the number one spot. This song, “Last Night,” resonates with not only country music fans but young adults all across the world. It tells a story of a tale as old as time. The classic break up, see each other out at the bar, then get back together story. A story that encapsulates the rawness of the human experience: heartbreak. He sings about a familiar love story that is entangled with something we all run away from: the fear of missing out, otherwise known as FOMO. It can get the best of us, often enticing us to go out when we often know better.
The song, in my humble opinion, should go as follows:
“Last night we let the FOMO talk.”
Say it louder for the people in the back.
According to the National Library of Medicine, the fear of missing out refers to “the need to belong, and the formation of strong and stable interpersonal relationships. It is considered as a type of problematic attachment to social media, and is associated with a range of negative life experiences such as lack of sleep, reduced life competency, emotional tension and negative effects of physical well-being.”
With social media now playing such an integrated part of our everyday lives, it is only normal for us to experience the fear of missing out when we are constantly bombarded with the reality of what other people are doing. Not only does this lead to FOMO, but also comparison. Comparison is the ultimate thief of joy. It can be hard to find joy and purpose when you are constantly comparing your ordinary day reality to someone else’s extraordinary day.
The constant cycle of engaging with the feelings that come with FOMO and comparison can deplete one’s sense of purpose. However, it is neither exclusive nor linear. It is not exclusive in the fact that it is only one thing and one thing only. You do not find your purpose at the end of every day, or at graduation, or once you’ve finally found your person, or when you finally receive a good grade or a promotion. Purpose is found in the most ordinary ways, and when we realize it is not tied to a person, place, or title, we start to discover it more and more.
Brianna Wiest wrote in her book, “This is How You Heal,” “In this way, our first purpose is to ourselves. I know that sounds so counterintuitive, as though purpose is exclusively selfless. The reality is that to be overflowing with love, we must first fill ourselves up with it. Your first purpose is just to be here. Our purpose is not just something we do, it’s something we become.”
And yet, knowing this, we often let FOMO get the best of us. What we think could, should, or might happen often weighs on us so much that we forget that we don’t need to do it all right now. We can just be here. And that in itself is our purpose. We forget that our lives are often not linear in the way we would like them to be. They are more like the maze on the front of the children’s menu, trying to navigate your way out taking every turn possible. FOMO lies and tells us that our purpose is never within reach, and that’s just it. It’s a never-ending lie. The ascent into linear perfection doesn’t exist.
Another example where characters seem to tell me exactly what I need to hear is in the book The Little Prince. It is a timeless story written by Antoine De Saint Exupery and follows the journey of a boy and the little prince as they discuss this concept of how life, our journey, is nonlinear. They depict this in a conversation when talking about a sheep.
“Where do you want to take my sheep?” the little prince asked.
“I will give you a rope to tether the sheep during the day and a post to tether him to.” replied the little boy.
“Tether him? What an odd idea!”
“But if you don’t tether him, he may go anywhere and get lost”
“But where do you imagine he would go?”
“Anywhere. Straight ahead of him.“
At which the little prince remarked: “Straight ahead does not take anyone very far.”
And what a simple, beautiful reminder as we embark in this new year. Instead of trying to smooth out all the imperfections in your life, embrace your life as the maze it is. There is a purpose to be found in each corner. While yes, FOMO can encourage connection and time for reflection, be cognizant of when it creeps in and influences your decisions. There is purpose all around, you’ve just got to listen for it!
”Last night, we let the purpose talk.”