As I have finally reached the final weeks of my senior year spring semester, it only seems right to end my stint at Her Campus with a reflection piece. It seems like a rite of passage to write that final article looking back on the whirlwind of life that’s been the past four years. As a freshman, I loved reading all that the seniors had to share about the lessons they learned, the battles they fought and the realizations they made after years of figuring things out. So without further ado, here are just a few of my biggest takeaways from my college experience.
1. People cannot read your mind
They say that actions speak louder than words, but you can’t expect the “show, don’t tell” mentality to get every little detail across. Sometimes, I need to bite the bullet and say what I’m thinking instead of waiting around for someone to notice. Case in point: during my freshman year, I told my teammates during a mental health check-in day that I didn’t have any friends in my dorm. Another girl invited me to dinner with a couple of her friends later that week, and boom, we were fast friends! Our little pack has grown, but three and a half years later, I am still best friends with that group of people. Maybe I would’ve found them later on, but admitting I had no friends definitely sped up that process.
2. People > Places
I’d be lying if I said I had never thought of transferring schools. When the perfect vision of my school wore off–the dining hall was a disappointment, the organization seemed nonexistent, our school spirit lacking–I couldn’t help but think about my classmates and friends living their best lives at schools with cooler electives, prettier buildings and bigger parties (see number 3). However, I realized that most of my struggles were internal, and transplanting myself to a new environment wouldn’t magically transform me into a stress-free social butterfly without a worry in the world. Saint Louis University is where I found my people, and regardless of its imperfections, it became a home where I’ve learned to flourish in a way that’s best for me.
3. FOMO is real, but social media isn’t
Even at a mid-sized campus, there is so much going on at all times. While I joined more clubs and organizations than I can remember during my freshman year, I have slowly whittled them down to the ones that I truly love. I still keep myself a bit busier than I need to, but I’ve learned to say no to things that don’t serve me. Even so, not doing something you wish you could do is always going to be hard, and the fear of missing out is a valid feeling. If I’m gone a few days for a track meet, I miss going out with my classmates, but if I get the weekend off to rest, I wish I was with my teammates playing games on the bus. I’m learning to accept that I a) won’t be invited to everything and b) can’t do everything everywhere all at once AND get seven hours of sleep… but seeing other people enjoying their own choices doesn’t make that any easier. It takes a conscious effort to remind yourself that social media tends to show the best of the best and not the mundane 80% that encompasses most of our time. Setting personal boundaries and taking regular social media detoxes is one way I’m working on this.
4. You don’t need to have THE college experience
I liked my college experience. Some parts of it I loved, and some parts of it I hated. I don’t think it will be the best four years of my life, and I genuinely hope (and believe) that there are better things to come. I will look back on it as a fond experience, even if it taught me just as much about things I don’t like as it did about things I do. Everyone’s college experience can look different. I had the best time once I found the right balance between pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and accepting that I could do literally whatever I wanted to on a given Saturday night, whether it fit the college stereotype or not.
5. Take the next right step
It’s hard to think four years ahead when you start college. Heck, it’s hard to think three days or even a few hours in advance sometimes. When decisions about summer plans, graduate school and careers feel overwhelming, I try to focus on taking the next right step. I’ll break down assignments into one submittal at a time and focus on advancing to the next step. While I don’t know what I want to do for a living, I know that the graduate school decision I made will at least take me one step in the direction I want to go. This was a hard lesson to grasp for the planner in me, who usually has a summer internship before Christmas, but it has helped me worry less about what’s to come and focus on the small steps along the way.
6. Honesty, Communication and Love
How have I survived nearly four years with my best friends and three years with the same roommate? Our house rules: honesty, communication and love. No pettiness, no grudges, no gossip. If any of us have a problem with something someone said or did, we’ll bring it up within a day, and it’s solved just as fast. It’s very simple, not always easy, but genuinely worth it. These rules aren’t going anywhere, and they are definitely something I’ll be bringing into my next phase of life as I meet new roommates and friends.
The end of my undergraduate career is bittersweet, to say the least. I’m sad to leave my home for the past few years, but ready to explore something new. I’ve grown so much as a person these past four years, and Saint Louis University will always hold a special place in my heart. Roll Bills!