“Our mothers are our first homes, and that’s why we’re always trying to return to them. To know what it was like to have one place where we belonged. Where we fit.”
-Michele Filgate
Growing up, my dad and I were extremely close. In fact, I think when you Google the definition of a “daddy’s girl,” my face will pop up on your screen. It was so easy to be close to my dad; we share the same features, mannerisms and interests. When I wanted to play catch in the yard or needed help on a math problem, he was the one I reached for first.
Unfortunately, although I did not realize it at the time, this left very little room in my life for my mom. We were nothing alike, and our personalities often clashed. What made this even worse was the fact that she was a stay-at-home mom, so we never truly got a break from each other. We were in such close proximity all the time, yet I never felt farther away from her than when she was standing right in front of me.
After wondering if I was the only one who felt this way, I found a study by Pew Research that showed how although mothers are seen as having the more difficult job, they are judged more harshly than fathers as a whole. Over half of the Americans surveyed, 56% to be exact, said that moms are worse at parenting now than they were twenty to thirty years ago. Society automatically judges mothers at a higher standard in parenting than men. Although I am ashamed to admit that I was once a part of the 56%, I could not be happier to admit that I have since realized just how wrong I was about my mother.
Now that I am in college and experienced my first real break from my parents, I look back on my childhood years with an immense amount of guilt weighing on my chest. After losing the luxury of having my mother at my disposal 24 hours a day, I realize just how much my mother sacrificed for me. Whether it was doing my laundry, cooking my meals or driving me to school and practice, my life could not have existed without my mother. She is a warrior in her own right, a champion that reigns victorious over society’s stereotypes about what a mother should be. Most importantly, however, is the all consuming love that she showed me despite all the times that I did not deserve it. She loved me at my worst so I could become my best. I am nothing without my mother.
If you in any way relate to these words and are in a position to do something about it, do not make the same mistakes I did. Call your mother and listen to what she has to say. Chances are she has something important to tell you. All that I am I owe to my mother, and I am proud to say that I will no longer hold my mom to the unattainable standards that society has placed on moms everywhere. I encourage you to do the same. If nothing else, give your mom a little grace. After all, it is her first time going through life, just like us.
We are nothing without our mothers.