One of my prized possessions as a child was a journal that I had picked out at the mall. It had a lenticular cover and my initial “A” on the front. I was so excited about this journal that I immediately decided to write in it every day.
After about five days, this streak had already been broken. Years later, when I decided I wanted to try again, I ripped out the pages I had written in for the sake of starting over. Ultimately, I failed at consistently journaling yet again.
During the summer of 2019, I decided to give it one more shot. I set a goal to journal once a week, not every day. I figured that this would reduce the pressure I felt to have something journal-worthy to write about every single day, but would help me stay on track. I was right. Over two years later, I have collected 134 entries spanning the time from when I was a 17-year-old to now, as an almost-20-year-old. Training myself to maintain this hobby has taught me some lessons about life and reflection that I am truly glad to have learned:
1. Having a firsthand account of your thoughts and feelings during an unusual time period is highly valuable.
I started my journal when I was 17. Almost immediately after I turned 18, COVID-19 forced schools to shut down, businesses to suspend operations and people to stay distant from one another. Like everyone else in March 2020, I was unsure of so many things. How would this virus impact my health and the health of those I love? Would I get to graduate in the spring? Would I get to go to college in the fall?
This was a tough time for my mental health, as isolation, fear and a feeling of defeat set in. Journaling helped me understand and accept these feelings. Now, years into the pandemic, I find that these entries are helpful when I feel discouraged. I can look back on my own writing and use what I was going through then as a guide for how to feel better now. In addition, having a firsthand record of my experience throughout a historic event in my lifetime will become invaluable as I continue into adulthood.
2. Journaling can help you keep a time capsule of those who are important to you.
As my life has progressed and changed, the relationships I have had with people have naturally fluctuated. One of my favorite things about re-reading entries is seeing a name I have not seen in a while and remembering how my life connected to that person. This often inspires me to take time to appreciate the things that I like about those I care about. Even people who I cross paths with for a short amount of time can be preserved in my journal, and thus the memories I have with people are even more special.
3. Having a place to express thoughts without fear of judgment is refreshing and relaxing.
I am a naturally closed book. Sometimes, I find it difficult to vent my thoughts to people out of fear I will be a burden on them or they will react negatively to my problems. While keeping a journal has by no means replaced those I trust as sources of comfort in my life, I love having a place to direct thoughts that will only ever be read by me.
A significant chunk of my journal is filled with my thoughts and inner turmoil about going to college. As a high school senior, I expressed many of my concerns about finding the right school in my writing. I have found it amusing to go back and annotate earlier entries, letting my past self know that I wound up happy at SLU.
4. Gratitude is easier when you have a reference point.
It has been a goal of mine recently to spend more time appreciating my current situation. My first year of college was tough because, as a part of the high school graduating class of 2020, I entered into a mostly-online experience. In my journal, I wrote down the things that I was struggling with at that time. Though it isn’t necessarily fun to read entries about my past challenges, it reminds me that the steps I have taken to make things better were worth it. I have an extra appreciation for the way things are now because I can compare my life to how it was in the past.
5. Finding a way to separate out chunks of time can help slow things down.
Though I can’t believe it has already been over two years since I started my journal, this hobby has also helped slow down time. By recapping my week consistently, I force myself to take time to think about what I accomplished, how I felt and where I went for the past seven days. Separating out chunks of time stops the days from blending together, especially when I am at school for weeks, working and staying busy.
This hobby of mine has become something I look forward to all week long. Besides being something fun and enjoyable, my journal is a place I can look to for guidance or to find things to be thankful for. I would encourage anyone who—like my past self—can’t commit to journaling all the time to break it into manageable chunks and see what happens. It might just become one of your favorite hobbies!