Hipster men are the unsung hotties of our generation. Everyone gushes about the basketball star and the frat boy, and we, the silent majority of hipster-lovers, let them. The time has come to tell the world why we fall under the spell of the hipsters (and why you non-believing collegiettes should too).
1. The Skinny Jeans
Men and skinny jeans make the best combination since electricity and the light bulb. A guy wearing skinny jeans might as well run around the green singing “Sexy and I Know It” at the top of his lungs, but he doesn’t need to, because hipster magic does it for him. Message received.
2. The Hair
There are two ways that hipsters can make you fall madly in love with their hair; we admire their versatility. The first is the tousled faux-hawk (or tousled anything—if it doesn’t stand up on its own, he’s made an effort). We reward him with longing stares for those minutes spent in front of the mirror. The second is the less popular (but equally alluring, when done correctly) long hair, which lends itself to ponytails and buns. We haven’t yet been able to define what it is about this androgynous masterpiece that works for us, but oh, does it work. (Note: hipster hair doesn’t have to be clean for us to swoon over it, which is why it falls under the category of ‘black magic’).
3. The Graphic T-Shirt
Graphic tees abound in the hipster man’s closet. The irreverent or ironic tee tells us that the guy is witty and doesn’t take himself too seriously. The concert tee indicates that he has good taste (assuming we’ve heard of the band, which we usually haven’t—this leads us to think he is cooler than us, and thus twice as irresistible). It also says that he likes to dance or mosh in close quarters with other people. What a coincidence—so do we! With him.
4. The V-Neck
The loose V-neck shirt is a hipster staple—if he doesn’t own at least five, he is simply a punk. We like the V-neck because it is designed to subtly show off the pecs (which they usually lack, so when we do spot them on a hipster’s body, we go wild). Loose V-necks also show off the neck, the arms, and the flat stomach without parading them à la The Situation. These alternative men are hot enough to be models, but modest enough not to want to be, and we adore them for that. V-necks also look great with scarves, which imply that some other girl has been kissing his neck—the competition begins.
5. The Oversized Glasses
We see exaggerated glasses—be they abnormally large or blindingly bright—and we imagine him reading a hardcopy of The Great Gatsby by candlelight. It doesn’t matter whether or not he actually needs the prescription; hipster magic has managed to make near-sightedness sexy, and for that we applaud it.
These are only a few of the reasons why we fall for the hipster man (most often spotted buying his fourth coffee of the day at Burgess, strumming his guitar on the green, or DJing the dance party). They’re an elusive bunch, but once you cross their paths, you, too will be lost to the hipster magic.