Can We Please Pick a Name For That Decade?

Nineties nostalgia can be a frustrating thing for people in my age bracket. I was born in 1995, and frankly I don’t remember much being one, two, or three years old. Chances are, you don’t either. My only memory from age four is going to my mom’s haircut appointment and getting nervous I’d somehow get caught in the elevator. Arguably, this memory, like most of my life in the nineties, is unimportant.

I often want to talk about the years 2000-2010 in casual conversation because it’s when most of my childhood took place, but heck, I just don’t know what to call it! Calling the “two thousands” seems to encompass everything in this century and it’s also a mouthful. I’ve called it the “zeros.” My friend says Brits call it the “nought-ies,” you know, like zero which is naught. In any case, this is my open call for the internet to pick a name for this decade so it can get the attention it deserves.

For example, look at all these incredible songs from the ‘00s that you rock out to either ironically or maybe unironically!

2001: Rockin The Suburbs by Ben Folds

2002: A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton

2003: Crazy in Love by Beyoncé

2004: Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday

2005: Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

2006: Supermassive Black Hole by Muse

2007: Many the Miles by Sara Bareilles

2008: Lady Gaga’s entire album, The Fame

2009: Boom Boom Pow* by the Black Eyed Peas

2010: Ridin Solo by Jason Derulo

*I just have to mention that the lyric “I’m so 3008, you’re so 2000 and late” really irks me because Fergie does not know how society will have advanced in 3008. None of us can predict the exponential growth of humanity that will occur between now and 3008. I’m not ruling out the possibility that we evolve into amorphous clouds of gas by then.

Other extremely notable things happened between 2000 and 2010. You know what they are--the election of President Obama, the Kyoto Protocol, many Harry Potter books, many Harry Potter movies. I can’t list all the things I did between ages four and fourteen but I do know that I performed in several school plays, discovered my love for theater, learned how to do long division, promptly forgot how to do long division, and grew a lot. I made many beautiful relationships that I have carried into my adult life. It was a pretty chill time. Is it too much to ask for a name?

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Cover image from Man Repeller