Once upon a time, we all were young, naïve, high school girls who went through the faux pas of dating. It was only natural for us to want the grand “will-you-go-to-prom-with-me?” gesture with the oh-so-cutest boy in the school, and of course, to hopefully find a love for the ages resembling something along the lines of Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass.
Sooner rather than later, the secure bubble of high school pops and we are thrown into the foreign word of college. Convinced that life will never change and that we are nothing less of invincible, we bring our out grown relationships with us thinking that they will only flourish. For some, this works and they are one step closer to becoming Mrs. Bass; but through my, and others’ experiences around me, I’ve learned rather fast that things rarely go as we plan.
As I celebrated my own one year mark of being single from my previous naïve and drawn-out relationship with excitement and open arms I couldn’t help but think about how much I have grown and realized over these past 12 months. Easily enough, I can sum this crucial period of my life in 6 important things I had learned.
1. Put yourself out there
When any relationship comes to an end it is important to dedicate a small part of our time to grieve. Key word… SMALL! Get that good cry out, whip those tears, fix your mascara, and then get back out there. Lucky for us, we have our friends to help us with the baby steps. Go grab coffee with your girlfriends, take a trip to the city, be open to new people! If that cute life guard you’ve been checking out from the beach asks you out for dinner and a movie (& hopefully some ice cream) go! A date doesn’t mean you have to marry the kid, maybe you’ll have a good time, maybe it will actually be the most atrocious date in the history of dates—doesn’t matter! You put yourself out there and that’s absolutely courageous.
2. Be selfish
We, as young intelligent women, are in control of our own destiny—not anyone else. Don’t feel pressured into doing something because someone else wants to. This is the time to ask yourself “what do I want?” The simplest way of making decisions is by judging if the answer isn’t a “hell yes!”, don’t waste your time. Be completely selfish. We have all the time in the world to put other people before us—Ya know, when we are married to that gorgeous millionaire who completely adores us and our beautiful children (cupid did you get that?) So in the meantime, stop complicating your happiness and make whatever you do a “Hell yes!”
3. Alone time is liberating
Somehow the word “alone” has succumbed to be associated only with sadness and negativity. As I previously stated, prince charming is waiting to adore us in the future so embrace alone time! Stop being afraid of being by yourself for a little and take this time to get your equilibrium back and most importantly to get to know yourself again. This is the perfect opportunity to clear your mind and to stop all the over thinking us girls are known for. Find a place to call your own, sit down, and take the world in. You will be surprised about how humbling some silence can be.
4. Get lost in something you love
Now that all the free time in the world has suddenly fallen into our laps, make the best of it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t watch the whole entire series of Friday Night Lights in record timing… but it gave me a chance to put my mind to something new. Once the Netflix phase wore off I finally got back into a passion of mine that I had long forgotten about; my love for reading. Whether your “thing” is books, movies, drawing, writing, etc. Now is the time to give your “thing” your undivided attention or better yet to find a new “thing” of yours. Allow yourself to feel the wonder of doing something that you love for yourself.
5. Eat, drink, & be merry
Yes. YES. Eat. That. Piece. Of. Pizza. And then have another. Wash it down with your choice of beverage *wine*. My wonderful mother always said “When you’re happy you eat.” Shout out to mother dearest on that one because she was nothing far from the truth. I know, I know… we all want the flat tummies, toned arms, beautifully sculpted butts, but (no pun intended) there is nothing wrong with enjoying a delicious meal with wonderful people. Whether it is from a 5 star restaurant or from Mikes Pizza—enjoy it. Youtube workouts are one click away ladies, life is short and pizza tastes better than celery.
6. Laugh
Lastly, the final thing I had learned throughout this past year was how important it was to laugh more often. By relaxing and being in the moment I was able to experience the joys of my day that would have been easily over looked if I was wrapped up in other nonsense. Milton Berle once said “Laughter is an instant vacation”…humor is infectious, let it spread onto you and allow yourself to take an instant vacation from this frigid February.