Love, love, love. We all scream love (and sometimes war) during Valentine’s Day… Some of us experience it with someone special or by ourselves. I’ve had the liberty of experiencing both in the past two years. From this, I realized that the reality of each situation is neither better nor worse than the other.
In the past two years, I’ve gone through drastic changes in my romantic life. At one point I went from healing from a breakup to finding love again. I’m here to tell you that the loss and heartache are worth the freedom to love freely in the end.
Here are some things I learned about love during the pandemic:
- The hurt is necessary.
- Enjoy being single.
- Ask for help/support.
- Know what you want from a future relationship.
- Be open minded!
Breakup Blues
From experience, I believe it is necessary to experience being single after a breakup. It’s a time to reflect not only on the relationship itself but yourself as well. When going through a breakup, it can be tough to look past the pain at the moment. I went through a couple of months of hurt while trying to mourn the relationship. As much as people may want to forget the pain it is vital to sit in those feelings, helping kickstart the healing process.
Time after time, I wondered when and if being in isolation was making the healing process harder. I was alone and didn’t see any friends to help keep the breakup off my mind. Some may look at this as a bad thing, however, I took this to my advantage to learn about myself as an individual and as a partner. Coming out of my first breakup last year was tough but I also managed to take the time to acknowledge the positives and negatives of the relationship. From doing this I was able to pinpoint what I really wanted out of a relationship when I was ready to love again.
Back in the Game
While the pandemic made constant changes to our pre-pandemic routines, the future of dating seemed to be unsure as ever. As if dating apps weren’t already trending in the dating world, the use of apps like Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder have heightened during the pandemic. Using these apps for the first time last year was scary yet exciting at the same time. Instead of shrinking back into my shell, I knew I should take a different approach to date. Although sometimes people experience failed talking stages, a lot of realization can come out of it. Some of them include dating people with different values, interests, humor, and more characteristics. Once I got over that initial fear of dating again, an amazing thing happened to me. Just a couple of months ago I was fortunate enough to meet someone special on a dating app.
And yes, I had my doubts about the dating app game. However, I knew that if I didn’t take that chance I would never know what could be. Fortunately, since then, I started to believe finding love was possible again.
The point is no matter how scary the entire process may be, being open-minded is the greatest attraction for love. As much as the pandemic has induced fear in all of us, we have to remind ourselves to seize the moment to take what we deserve (a genuine love!)
Let us know how your views on dating have changed @HerCampusSJSU!