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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SJSU chapter.

No boo? Well, that’s okay too!

Thanksgiving dinners, over-the-top Christmas gifts, and the infamous New Year’s Kiss are some of the best relationship aspects during the holidays, so it makes sense to feel lonely without someone special. 

Having someone to fulfill our cliche romantic desires is such a comforting experience that it’s become pressured to do so. It’s true that lovers bring out the holiday cheer. However, they are not a necessity. We have to remember that this season is about spreading gratitude and cheer to those we care about (whether we have a significant other or not). 

Not to mention, there is a lot of fun in being single that we don’t always realize. 

Finding comfort in the mundane 

This season is usually very busy and hectic for us all, so making time for others can be tricky. Pushing forward efforts to plan out activities and fun outings while dealing with the deadlines from school or work is very difficult. It almost feels like getting overwhelmed is a part of the holiday tradition at this point! 

With that, being in a relationship requires you to keep another person in consideration 100% of the time. Trying to find the right balance between friends/family, work, leisure, and the significant other is stressful and often gets out of hand. Pleasing everyone just doesn’t work out in the end, so we often have to choose one or the other, which can create even more problems for us.

Being single allows you to have one less person on your plate of responsibilities.

You can spend more time doing what you prefer, rather than compensating for what you have to do. 

Choosing to stay inside and cozy up for movies, studying more for exams, or going out with friends are all things we could do to put ourselves first.


Now that we have more time to ourselves, we can try to benefit from it. Acknowledging that we have faults and are viable to improving them is a step in the right direction. We are responsible for the life we desire and deserve. 

Finding out how you would like to evolve as an individual is a step in setting yourself up for success. Expanding upon what we are comfortable with can allow us to discover passions and niches we hadn’t known existed before. Thus, actively having an open mindset in everyday activities can bring new opportunities.  

Reaching out to network and connect with others can bring higher chances for positive outcomes. It’s very comforting to stay in the zone that we know, but branching out opens doors to endless opportunities.

Additionally, putting forth time alone to truly feel all your emotions will help you better understand them. As mentioned earlier, this season can be very stressful, so rushing through our days instead of being patient only confines us further. 

Being alone gives you the option of trying to resonate with yourself adequately. Acknowledging how you feel and expressing it in a healthy manner will ease stress and welcome peace.

A step in doing so would be to push away all distractions. Finding an effective method to clear your mind will benefit your mental and physical well-being. Thinking aloud and journaling are my personal outlets, so they might work for you too!   


We’ve already established that we do not need a significant other, but there’s no harm in appreciating those we care for. Giving out tokens of appreciation to your loved ones is a great way of saying you are thankful for them. One way to do this could be through learning their love language. 

Leaving some words of affirmation, giving quality time, or being extra physically affectionate can benefit someone greatly, even in the simplest ways. Our love language is how we express ourselves toward those we care for, so it’s nice to have someone take it into consideration. 

Expressing gratitude can also extend to blessings in your life other than people. Having shelter, food, education, health, etc., are all things we take for granted in our busy lives. There are millions of people living in underrepresented communities that would be extremely thankful to be in another position, so it’s important to acknowledge our privileges.

Giving back

During the holidays, volunteering at food banks and homeless shelters are great ways to give back. Not only is it a very kind act, but very fulfilling as well. Both parties will benefit by giving and receiving. 

Donating clothes, toiletries, and Christmas gifts are other amazing ways to help those in need. The children, especially, deserve to feel holiday cheer, so small toys and treats are always appreciated. Such a simple favor can make a huge difference in someone else’s life and your own. Being single doesn’t seem so bad after all. 

Having a significant other is great, but not necessary. Finding comfort in the mundane, choosing self-improvement, and expressing gratitude are all ways to feel connected with yourself, those around you, and the holiday spirit. 

There’s more to life than being the beloved, so be a lover of all instead. 

If you found this article helpful, let us know at @HerCampusSJSU!

Muimina Abdella is a fourth year sociology major at San Jose State University with a passion for writing. Amongst many, her article niches include relationships, entertainment, and lifestyle. When she is not writing, you can probably find her at your nearest concert or coffee shop!