First dates are one of the most anxiety-inducing things ever. A person can make themselves absolutely sick thinking about all of the possible outcomes and ways it could go.
There are always general expectations for the first date in a person’s head, but this can look different for everyone. The key is to set the standard of what you expect in the most organic and respectful way possible. You can set the tone for the rest of your relationship with the person.
The ideal first date would have some sort of structured plan, whatever that may be. A red flag is not having a plan that is at least somewhat thought out. This shows that the person’s intentions may not line up with yours.
It is crucial to carry yourself as confidently as possible. Humans can sense when someone feels uncomfortable in their skin or a situation.
While this is completely normal if you carry yourself in a way that suggests you feel inferior you will most likely get treated as such. People take advantage of that, and then don’t feel the need to treat you with the respect you deserve.
Setting the tone and boundaries is also very important, it can most of the time be unspoken. People can easily pick up on your body language and vibe by what you say and the way you carry yourself.
Even if you don’t feel confident, fake it till you make it. Confidence is the number one most attractive thing.
In terms of intimacy, there can be pressure to get physical on a first date. Unless you genuinely want to and feel comfortable, you should never feel like you have to get physical to keep a person around.
If you’re trying to build a relationship with someone, and you hook up with them prematurely because you feel like you have to, that can be detrimental. It’s harmful to yourself and the relationship you are hoping to build. Make them work for you. You’re worth someone earning you.
A person’s mindset surrounding first dates needs to change. We decide whether we like a person enough to have a second date. We are in control of the situation. We are in control of our love lives. Never give anyone too much power in your life.
Let us know what your ideal first date is @HerCampusSJSU!