Have you ever bought something random for a friend because you knew they’d love it? Or found yourself playing with your partner’s hair? Do you often compliment others? These are all different expressions of the five love languages identified by Dr. Gary Chapman, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve already taken a quiz to see what your love language is.
It’s no secret that love is subjective and we all experience it differently. What I didn’t realize until recently is how important it is to recognize your love language and how you want to be loved in order to strengthen your relationships and truly love yourself.
Words of Affirmation
This love language is all about telling the person you love exactly how much you love them. This includes praise, compliments and any other forms of verbal or written admiration. Words of affirmation might be your love language if you prefer words of reassurance from your partner. Or if you’re the hype person of the friend group who is always complimenting everyone. Ways to develop your love language and actually practice it can include writing a love letter to your significant other, complimenting yourself frequently as you would anyone else or commending a friend for their hard work in front of others.
Tangible Gifts
Gift giving as a love language might sound superficial, but it’s really not. Oftentimes, gifts don’t even need to cost money. This love language is all about giving something to your loved one that is meaningful to both of you. For example, I once gave my boyfriend a rock so that we’d have matching rocks. Gift-giving might be your love language if you pride yourself on getting the perfect birthday gifts for your friends or if you really value meaningful gifts from your partner. Some ways to practice your love language can be buying yourself those shoes you’ve been eyeing for months, baking cookies to give to your mom, or making a special playlist for your significant other.
Physical Touch
Physical touch is my love language and it’s pretty straightforward. While it sometimes can be, physical touch doesn’t always have to be sexual. This love language is about physically expressing your love for someone whether it be through hugs, kisses or simply being physically close to them. If you find yourself reaching out for your partner often without even thinking about it or always hugging your friends goodbye, physical touch might be your love language. You can practice this love language by exchanging massages with your partner, getting yourself a vibrator or hugging your friends often.
Quality Time
Quality time is very important in any relationship, but this love language is about more than simply spending time with a person. Quality time means being present and giving your loved one genuine attention. This might be your love language if you value time with your partner over anything else or if you always put your phone away during dinner because you want to be “present”. Quality time is about truly connecting with the person you love whether that be by scheduling alone time with yourself, going on a brunch date with a friend to see how they’re really doing, or face timing your long-distance partner.
Acts of Service
Last but not least, acts of service are a very meaningful way to show your love for someone. This love language is all about helping your loved one out without expecting something in return. Acts of service might be your love language if you often ask how you can help others or if you love when your partner takes the time to help you with a chore. When practicing acts of service for others, it’s important to ask them first and see how they want it done. Some ways to practice this love language are prepping yourself food for dinner because you know you’ll be too tired after work, helping a friend move to their new place or editing a paper your partner’s been working on.
However you choose to show your love, it’s important to communicate how you want to be loved–especially if you’re in a relationship–and to be aware of your partner’s love language. Remember to continually practice these love languages towards yourself and the special people in your life.
What’s your love language? Let us know by tagging @HerCampusSJSU!