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Sex + Relationships

The Crushing Nature of Crushes and How to Reclaim Your Crush as Yours


In its purest sense, a crush is a form of para-social relationship; a one-sided relationship where you have feelings for someone else, but those feelings are not reciprocated. After extensive research, I have found that no one knows whether the “love” someone experiences in a crush is even real. This is so crazy to think about because crushes feel so real.

We get a text from this person that we like and suddenly butterflies, and you never really know what to do with those butterflies. In science, if you break love or lustful feelings down, it is a dopamine reward; so the people who say “your love is my drug” are actually right. A crush is a way to let ourselves feel that dopamine reward whether the other person feels the same or not. Thanks to dopamine, when you see your crush you'll feel excited and giddy. Your brain is wired to want this euphoria, where you often think of them and you want to be around them more. That's why it's so fun to have a crush, and it's also why it can seem addictive to have them.

Crushes are our modern-day and age can be so crushing. As a crush develops, we notice more of how that person is tied into our lives; did they like our Instagram posts, did they see my Snapchat story. We start to overthink and wonder does this person likes me back. That when we relinquish the power we once held of the crush and let the other person control the situation. Don’t give up that comfort of wondering if the other person likes you back. If you have feelings and they have feelings, something is bound to happen. If they don’t make that clear, don’t diminish yourself by thinking that there is anything wrong with you for them not liking you back.

Think of your crush as a moment. Either the moment will develop and the conversation will go on. Or the moment will end and will just become a memory. Your crush is yours so believe it and roll from there.

Anika is a second year at SJSU with a Major in International Business and a Minor in Advertising. She is the Vice President of the Marketing Association and is also a Peer Mentor at SJSU. She loves fashion and adventure and loves to write about both!
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