It’s a new year! I’m so thankful to have made it to 2020. 2019 was a super difficult year for me, filled with some awesome highs as well as some very low lows. I started the year at my ex-girlfriend’s house, taking part in her family’s New Year’s traditions, having interviewed at my dream company, hopeful for the year to come. I ended the year single, and having gone through many losses and challenges across different aspects of my life. To me, 2020 couldn’t come fast enough.
Now that the new year is here, what can I do with it? The possibilities are seemingly endless. I’m usually someone who revels in the New Year’s hype, buying new planners and scheduling and setting all sorts of goals for myself that I know I’m probably not going to be able to keep. Yet with the arrival of 2020, that energy isn’t there. I’m not interested in jam-packing my year full of expectations and intentions. Instead, I’m focusing on one day at a time.
Over the past few years, I’d set myself resolutions along the lines of I’ll do yoga everyday, I’ll eat healthier, I’ll exercise 3x a week, I’ll read 50 books, I’ll do that big project. These are the resolutions of a perfectionist. 99.9% of us fall off the New Year’s resolution wagon in the first month or so. Why would I be any different? And yet, I would continue to set overly-ambitious goals for myself and be disappointed when I didn’t follow through on them.
One of the yearly goals I typically set is my Goodreads goal—how many books I want to read in a year. Last year, I set my goal to 50. I didn’t expect to lose a family pet, go through a devastating breakup, and have a full schedule on top of all of that (and more). When I was scrolling through my friend’s goals, I saw that one person had set their goal to one. That concept stuck with me. This person reads well over 100 books each year but her goal was to read just one book in the 366 days (leap year!) of 2020. I wanted to apply this to my New Year’s mindset.
This year, I have no resolutions. I have no unrealistic plans or goals. In 2020, I am simply going to live each day the best way that I can. If I spent the first week of the year eating junk food and going to bed at 3am every night, that’s okay. This is the year of letting myself live without the crushing pressures of unrealistic resolutions. I’m probably not going to be able to cut sugary foods out of my diet but at least I’ve been flossing every day. I may not have gotten a jump start on my reading for classes, but at least I’ve read a book. This year of small victories. The year where I have no resolutions, and no shame. I will not be judging myself for every decision I make. 2019 went by so fast, and I’m sure 2020 will be no different. Hopefully I’ll make some great choices along the way.