At my kitchen table recently, I sat down with one of my best friends, and said, “I really just… don’t like my twenties.” She then pointed out to me that I only just turned 20 four months ago. It was looking like a long journey ahead of me. So, I began asking people who lived through this decade of their lives and survived to tell us: What piece of advice would you give to yourself in your 20’s?
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“It’s not about what happens, it’s about how you respond. That’s all you can control, and will make all the difference to your quality of life and relationships. Also, find strategies that will lead to long term growth rather than destruction.” -Katie Jane, 39
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“Learn how to read a road map. Use good face cleanser! Drink more water. Learn how to cook.” -Lesley, 50
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“Your mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.” -Nicolette, 33
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“Trust your instincts. Don’t second guess your gut feeling. Sometimes it’s completely okay to base a decision on how you FEEL about it. Logic doesn’t always have the best answer.” -Sara, 50
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“I saw it on a bumper sticker recently – – ‘I might be wrong.'” -Sarvananda, 78
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“You get what you give! This goes for love, friendship, and work.” -Barb, 52
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“If you feel lost, uncertain of your future, or down, find a way to get involved with helping someone else – through non profit volunteering. Taking focus off of yourself and helping someone else, instantly makes you feel better.” -Stephanie, 50
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“NO is an acceptable answer, as well as a statement which requires no further clarification.” -Jim, 52
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“Don’t screw up your credit.” -Rob, 33
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“Relax!! You have your whole lifetime ahead of you — literally. You have not even begun to experience what life has to offer you. Stop stressing. Relax and enjoy your journey.” -Amy, 55
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“Setting goals, professional and personal, is important. However, resisting impatience in the process of achieving them is equally important. Rome was not built in a day. Be a good listener. Don’t dismiss guidance from those who are older and more seasoned. Be receptive to advice from others. Listen, process, and then make a decision. Some of your choices will be good ones; others not so good. That’s ok. Learn from mistakes. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, assess where you went wrong, and don’t make that mistake again. You are on a journey. Weather the bumps in the road, welcome the glides, and stay focused. There will be light ahead.” -Maureen, 74
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“Travel, travel… nothing to tie you down yet!!” -Andreea, 47
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“Open a Roth IRA.” -Anonymous
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“Learn that healthy relationships are “reciprocal”. You cannot change the other person. Especially, those who fail to negotiate.” -Mary, 52
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“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.” -Trisha, 55
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“Love is worth the leap. Trust your instincts.” -Karen, 49
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“Put your phone down & be here now.” -Peter, 52
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“[My dad] always says: ‘Show me who your friends are and I’ll show you who you are.'” -Rebecca, 33
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“Take good advice and actually use it!” -Lisa, 50
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“It’s not the last time. There will be life choices to be made, decisions that keep you awake at night. These will be genuinely hard decisions, existential choices, the kind that cannot be resolved by making lists of pros and cons, no matter how exhaustive those lists may become. Yet this will not be the last time you’ll decide where to live, or who to live with, or what job to take or quit. The choices you make in your twenties are not one and done; every choice leads to others, and there are more forks in the road than one can predict. It’s important to remember this so that you don’t become intimidated or even paralyzed by the feeling that the consequences of a choice are all-important.” -Lowry, 71
Header image copyright Petra Collins.