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Being Independent in a Relationship

Being independent when you’re in a committed relationship can be difficult. It's difficult in any relationship, even when you aren’t dating someone. A person can be attached to their friends, family, or a loved one, and not be able to define their independence. They rely on another person to be their rock, to feel complete, and have trouble doing those things on their own. I believe it’s important for women to be independent and feel confident in who they are as an individual. Here are some steps to help find your independence.

Make “Me Time” a Regularity

Taking some time for yourself is incredibly important. Not only to find who you are as an individual, but also to be able to figure out things that you enjoy doing. Whether that means reading, writing, or drawing in your favorite comfy chair, go for it and figure out what works best for you. You'll quickly find things that interest you and that you enjoy doing by yourself.


Go to a Meal Alone

I know the words “alone” and “food” might make some people feel out of their element, but being able to eat a meal by yourself in public is a huge step in being independent. You show yourself that you don’t need to be with another person while you eat in order to fit in or feel less awkward about being in public. If you’re skeptical about this, try going somewhere smaller first before taking yourself out to a fancy dinner in a big restaurant. 

Gif of Michelle from Full House eating a plate of spaghetti Giphy

Workout by Yourself

Working out without anyone else can help you focus on the goals you have for that workout. While I do love working out with other people because it pushes me sometimes, I feel the same way about working out by myself. When you go to workout by yourself, you know exactly what you want to get done for the day and nothing stands in your way of achieving that. It’s also a great way to clear your head. 

John Arano H4I9G Jade Stephens / Unsplash

Yes, it can be difficult to pull yourself away from others and consider what you truly want to do. In a society that teaches us to care about fitting in with the crowd, social media that can lead to FOMO (the fear of missing out), and influencers showing us from a young age that being in a relationship or having as many friends as possible is the "cool thing," it makes things that much harder. You might feel like you're missing out on what others are doing, but it's important to know that you should have time to yourself and be independent from others. College is one of the best times to truly find yourself, what you enjoy, and to be an individual!