What is Your Love Language?
Take the Love Language Quiz
By: Amanda Myers
All of us have relationships. We have our significant other, we have our BFF, and some of us also have children. We also have classes, jobs, tons of homework, exams and still need to fit in time for those relationships. It can be a struggle to find time for the people we love while in school. It is also emotionally exhausting when we do have those few precious moments, to actually relax, be present in the moment, and make it a time of quality. Otherwise known as, filling up our “love tanks.”
There are easy ways of making the times with loved one’s quality time vs. quantity time. Who doesn’t need a tank full of love? Love can keep us going. It can remind us every day why we go through all of this sleep deprivation and the mental strain of college. Love is like gasoline is to a car. When you learn how to fill another’s tank, yours too will become full. It is a win-win!
Here is how it works. There are five love languages that we speak to each other without even realizing it. We each have our own primary love language that we respond to, and everyone we love also responds to their own love language. The love language you respond to will naturally be the love language you will speak to the person you love. They may not respond to you fully (or have their love tank fill up) because that is not their love language. This also works in the reverse. This can explain why some relationships feel stagnant or blah. This can also explain why some of your relationships can feel like BAM and WOW!
The Five Love Languages:
- Words of Affirmation: People with this primary love language thrive on hearing words of encouragement, praise and compliments. The loving words make them feel love and harsh words make them feel unloved or unvalued.
- Quality Time: This love language needs the time with their loved one to be of undivided attention. The saying, “time away makes the heart grow fonder” doesn’t apply to these people. If you are willing, there is a way to steal a few moments together.
- Receiving Gifts: If this is your love language, you love receiving gifts spontaneously. This makes you feel loved and treasured. If a special occasion is forgotten and not gifted, or you feel the gift had minimal thought, you are offended.
- Acts of Service: When someone you love performs an act of kindness for you, your love tank overflows. An example of this is as simple as washing the dishes, it is the thought behind it that counts. The opposite happens when your loved one just watches you wash the dishes without offering to help. This gives a feeling of being unappreciated.
- Physical Touch: This love language can have nothing to do with sex. We also speak love languages with our children. A simple hug, a nudge, or holding hands while walking can give your loved one the warmth they are craving from you. In relationships, going too long without physical touch can be significantly damaging over time.
As you were reading these, you may have felt one or two resonate with you personally. Most likely those are your love languages. It is not uncommon to have more than one. There is also a fun quiz you and your loved ones can take just to be sure. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ The sooner you know what your partner needs from you in a relationship, the quicker you can speak their love language. Their love tank will be full, and you will see a happier, fuller relationship between you. There are also books you can read with more detail about the love languages. The books are Titled “The 5 Love Languages”, by Gary Chapman. Several versions are available, including for teens, children and marriage.