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Being Open and Honest Will Get You Far With This Campus Cutie!

Name: ThomasHometown: Roxbury, PAMajor: Social WorkMinors: Women’s & Gender studies and AnthropologyYear:  Junior

Relationship status: That single life.

What activities are you involved with on campus?Phi Sigma Pi National Honors Fraternity. I would do more, but my schedule does not permit anything more.

What are your favorite things about Ship?Professors that really show their passion for their subject area. Smaller class sizes also allow one to get to know their educators more personally.

What are some of your favorite bands or artists?The Limousines, Matt and Kim, MGMT, Passion Pit, Regina Spektor, Keane, The Beatles, Taylor Swift, Tegan and Sara, The Smiths, Skrillex, Hellogoodbye, Marina and the Diamonds, Lily Allen, Vampire Weekend, Johnny Cash, Cosmo Jarvis, Say Anything… Really, I could go on and on. I really enjoy music, so it’s difficult trying to choose my “favorites.” I can pretty much find at least one song that I really enjoy in regards to any genre or artist. I also love being introduced to unfamiliar artists. Readers, feel free to send me your mixes!

What attracts you most to a guy?I’d have to say that the qualities that I find most attractive are intelligence, levelheadedness, and open-mindedness. I also really am attracted to guys who can be somewhat emotionally open. The main quality I really look for is the ability to stay committed and loyal in a monogamous relationship. As far as physical qualities, I would have to say I’m attracted to their eyes and smiles. I’m not really that picky.

What turns you off the most from a guy?Guys who are judgmental, shallow, and solely focused on physical appearance. I’m also not about cocky guys. There’s a big difference between one being attractively self-confident and one being self-absorbed. The biggest turn off is really a guy who cannot stay loyal, faithful, and true to their partner. Cheating is honestly one of the worst things you could do your partner.

Describe your perfect date.Somewhat unstructured. Why don’t we plan as we go? Just jump in the car, drive without any set destination, and take each turn as we choose. We get to know each other, discover new places, and get to enjoy the night. However, really all I need for a perfect date is for the guy to show up. I really am easily pleased in that sense. As long as we’re together doing something, I’m pretty happy.

Plans after graduation?I plan on continuing my education and achieving my Masters in Social Work. I’m not exactly sure what field of social work I want to enter quite yet, but I have some time before I graduate to figure that part out. I am not really sure where life will take me quite yet. If I can’t find my niche in the field, I figure I could always go back to school for a bit and pursue anthropology further. If nothing else, I could always become a professor.

Advice for single guys or girls looking for love?Just be honest about your intentions from the beginning, and make sure you both are looking for the same thing. Also, I know many males are conditioned to be “strong” through closing off their emotions and holding back anything even remotely termed “feminine.” I know it’s a difficult process to open up after being closed off to others, but it helps create a much more healthy relationship in the end. Another crucial point is to trust your interests as you see fit. Going in blindly leaves you open for hurt, disloyalty, or pain, but going in closed-off won’t allow love to bloom. Try to be open, but also stay cautious of how much trust you put into the relationship initially.

Also, try taking a break from being the one seeking out others to date. Sometimes, just relax and do not stress over being single. Allow guys to occasionally come to you. Also, try to learn to love/appreciate yourself. After taking almost three years to figure out that I can be happy on my own, I realized that I could also be happy with myself as a whole. I began to love my body, even though I am not skinny. I realized that I really give relationships my all and have always tried to be the best boyfriend I can be. If someone doesn’t value me for who I am, they are not worth my time. Compromise may be important in a relationship, but don’t change your core qualities/aspects/values/appearance/etc. just to make your “other” happy. Be happy and love yourself first, then love another. I struggled with it for years, and it honestly made a huge positive difference after achieving it.

 

Sarah is the founding editor of Her Campus Ship. She graduated in May 2015 with a B.A. in communication/journalism and a minor in international studies. During her undergrad career she completed a fashion internship at Girls' Life magazine and an editorial internship at Redbook magazine. After graduation, she is headed to Istanbul and Venice to write about food and culture as an intern in iei Media's foreign reporting program. Upon returning to the states, she plans on pursuing a career in publishing.
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