Who doesn’t love a good wedding? They are harmonious declarations of love with gorgeous scenery, the exchange of vows, and colour coordinated napkins! All for a humble, average cost of $30,000. What says “I love you forever” more than going into debt for a pretty alright party?
All jokes aside, I’m fascinated and intrigued by weddings. Since my peers and I haven’t reached the socially acceptable age to get married yet, weddings are still something I obsess over on Pinterest. Although I secretly fantasize about what kind of orchids would look good with a soft purple colour scheme, I think weddings are kind of an odd and unnecessary way to demonstrate your devotion to your significant other.
In opposition to my fantasies, I’m not a very traditional person: I don’t want kids, I don’t have a desire to get married, and if I do, I don’t want to take my husband’s last name, and I don’t have any religious affiliations whatsoever. So, take this article with a grain of salt. I can’t wait for my friends and family who want to get married to have weddings so I can experience their happiness with them. I’m not against weddings, I’m just weirded out by them.
Engagement Rings
The College Humour’s series “Adam’s Ruin’s Everything” is definitely something I’d recommend watching. A few years ago, they did an episode called “Why Engagement Rings Are a Scam” In summary, a company called De Beers has monopoly over diamonds and are able to charge whatever price they want for them. Diamonds have little to no resell value and are technically worthless. De Beers created a clever marketing scheme selling the idea that buying crystallized carbon is the only way you can proclaim your devotion to your significant other; which has now become a social rule that is very much ingrained in us. The traditional rule of spending “two months’ salary” on something that is “intrinsically worthless” still gets us showing up at jewelry stores.
Even with this knowledge, I’d still expect an engagement ring if I’m proposed to. As Emily states at the end of the video, “I want that rock.” WHY THOUGH? Cultural and social expectations that are drilled in our heads, probably. Something cool I did come across was this article from Buzzfeed listing non-diamond engagement rings. I think this is some beautiful inspiration for anyone considering something a bit more alternative.
Weddings
Ok, now onto my weird fascination with weddings. There’s also an episode of Adam’s Ruins Everything on Weddings. (I swear, I’m not just ripping off this show). Overall, weddings are a display of your wealth. As I mentioned before, the average cost of a wedding is around $30,000.
One factor that does play a part in the cost of weddings is the “once in a lifetime” mentality. The classic line for brides shopping for a dress is: “the dress of your life.” It’s really hard not to splurge when you put so much weight on a single day.
If you’re looking for a venue for your wedding, vendors will often charge more for a venue for a wedding over other similar parties of the same size. This price difference is called the wedding markup. Wedding vendors, such as wedding photographers, videographers, bakeries, florist, etc, often don’t post prices on their websites. You usually have to reach out and inquire to get any pricing information. Since the average person doesn’t have familiarity with the wedding market, it gives the wedding vendors the freedom to charge whatever they please. They charge a price based on what you think it’s worth. For example, if a bride has been dreaming of using her grandmother’s favourite blue flowers that she used to garden for her wedding, and that her grandmother’s broach will be on the bouquet and the bride wants to talk to the florist extensively about the flowers, this is a lot of time and energy put on these flowers, which will be reflective of their cost. In comparison, if you just say you want blue flowers, you probably won’t be paying as much.
Another factor that plays into the cost of weddings is the appearance of wealth. Surprisingly, a flashier engagement ring can mean a higher wedding bill. Vendors will judge you by your ability to pay, and perhaps steer you toward more expensive things. Or if you’re expectations are too low, they might decline to work with you in search of richer prospects. Vendors can get a sense of your finances from the church or reception site you’ve picked. Plus, many buy data on your finances from companies you’ve done business with or bridal shows you’ve attended, where welcome forms often include questions about income, wedding budget, and who’s paying.
My Thoughts
In another thought, for $30,000, you could get a second college degree with that money, or put a down payment on a house, or buy a nice car, or just put that in your savings account. You are potentially selling your future to put on a show for others. I don’t think I could ever rationalize spending that much money just for one night. I never dreamed about my wedding when I was a little girl, I dreamed about being financially secure (just kidding).
I don’t need a hundred of my friends, family, and people I don’t know to witness me signing a legal contract. Declaring my eternal love and devotion to my significant other sounds like a very intimate thing and I don’t want others intruding on it. I can’t even hold eye contact for very long, and now everyone will be staring at me the whole night. It’s weird, stop looking at me. I’d rather skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon so I can travel the world with my S.O.
As I mentioned before, I don’t hold the most traditional views. Weddings don’t appeal to me. I don’t care if people want weddings or if you’ve been planning your dream wedding since you were little. I think it’s amazing that others find joy and passion in weddings. But, I think what’s the most important aspect is choice. There’s a societal pressure that is more geared towards women, that persuades us to think that weddings and marriage is a necessity. We have to have one. If we don’t, we’re letting down everyone around us. There’s also certain cultural and religious pressures that play a huge part. However, they often don’t affect me. Therefore, I don’t feel confident enough to comment on them. Overall, we can’t ignore these kinds of expectations, but what we can do is respect the choices of others on what they decide to do with their lives.