There are two types of ways we say yes to everything: one way is saying yes to opportunities, and the other is saying yes to people. It occurred to me that saying yes to people is not what you should strive to do just to please others but instead, you should say yes to opportunities that take you out of your comfort zone and allow you to grow.
I have always struggled with saying no to others. I never want to let others down, so in turn, I am constantly saying yes to people.
You might have heard this quote before: “the disease to please.”
I have this constant itch to want to please others, I do not know where it comes from but what I have learned is that pleasing everyone is exhausting and impossible. Whenever I get asked to do anything, for example, taking someone’s shift at work or taking upon an extra task on a group project, I do not have the will to say no. I rarely speak up and project my feelings outright because I do not want to let others down, and I always want things to go smoothly, which then involves me saying yes to anything and everything. What I have noticed is that pleasing others does not help you in the long run, it just makes you less happy with yourself because of the fear of not being able to please others. I am starting to gather up the courage to start saying no to certain things that I genuinely do not want to do. It is a freeing experience that is still a learning process for me but I think it is an enriching as it allows you to take control of your life and speak up for yourself.
On the other hand, say yes to opportunities. Say yes to things that will better you and enrich your life and will give you invaluable experiences. Shonda Rhimes (you have probably watched one of her shows; Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal or How to Get Away with Murder) went on this journey of saying yes to everything for a year.
“For one year, I would say yes to all the things that scared me anything that made me nervous, or took me out of my comfort zone. I forced myself to say yes, and a crazy thing happened… the very act of doing the thing that scared me undid the fear, and made it not scary”.
Say yes to opportunities that come your way that take you out of your comfort zone, and allow you to grow as an individual. In doing so, you will gain a new perspective of the world around you and yourself. Many of us hesitate when it comes to say yes to opportunities, due to fear. I always have this fear of failure, or not having the skills to go after certain opportunities. But as Richard Branson once said, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!” Go out there and immerse yourself with experiences. Get out of your comfort zone, and say yes to opportunities!