Middle of last year, me and my long-time boyfriend at the time called it quits after months of endless arguments fueled by anger and tears. If you’ve ever gone through a bad breakup – or a breakup at all – you might’ve felt tempted to sought after another person’s affection right away. And that’s exactly what you shouldn’t do – here’s why:
Jumping into another relationship or going down a tumultuous spiral of hookups would not allow you to process your emotions in a healthy way. The best thing to do after a breakup is to spend time on yourself and regain the things you might’ve lost in the process of loving someone else. I completely understand the void you feel when you don’t have the one person you can always count on anymore but to ensure your next relationship(s) doesn’t go down the same road, you need to be a better ‘you’ before anything else.
When I became single again, I made a promise to myself that I would work through my issues and be a better person before being a better girlfriend. Although those two go hand in hand, self-love should always be on top of your top priority. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself but it is difficult to embrace your independence and evaluate your experience in the form of valuable lessons. One of the most valuable advice my mom has ever given me is to never lose focus on yourself even if it means focusing on your mistakes as well. But also never forget to recognize your triumphs and wonderful qualities because we tend to see only the good in others and only the flaws in ourselves. The last piece of advice I could extract from my rollercoaster of a love life does not – I repeat do not – try to look for “the one” because chances are that person will sneak up on you when you least expect it making you realize every person you’ve been with has lead you exactly to them.
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2. self-love