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The 10 Struggles of Being Labeled the “Nice Girl”

Introducing the “Nice Girl”. We all know one, and chances are if you don’t, you may just be one. There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but having a big heart and a guilty conscious makes for a difficult social life sometimes. Without further adue, let me be the one to familiarize you with daily struggles or being the “Nice Girl”.

 

1. You’re constantly being called a flirt.

There’s nothing more frustrating than having your kind hearted self, and genuine interest in other people be mistaken for being interested in someone. I’ve gotten myself into numerous uncomfortable situations because smiling and laughing during a conversation is apparently a hidden request for: “Can I have your number? I’m free this Saturday night”.

 

2. You are the Master of Compromise.

As the “nice girl”, it’s extremely easy for you to meet others halfway. In fact, it’s almost a given in most situations. Your friends want to go out but you prefer to watch a movie? You often find yourself attending parties or even study sessions you probably would want nothing to be a part of. But how can you live with the guilt of not wanting to hang out with your friends? You can’t… so you gear up and head out. That being said, it doesn’t bother you in the slightest – it’s normal.

 

3. Second hand embarrassment is no joking manner.

When someone spills their drink or trips. The ever-so-embarrassing moment when someone’s audio goes off in lecture. You feel their pain in your bones. Just know… your struggle is our struggle.

 

4. The word “no” rarely slips form your mouth.

Saying no is almost equivalent to slapping someone in the face; it evokes the same emotions at least. If you don’t want to do something, you prefer to dance around topics and say things like “maybe later” or “I’d love to but…”.  Either way, the inability to deny multiple requests leaves you with a jam packed schedule. 

…And in the rare moment that you do cough out a strong “no!”, you feel guilty about the possibility of disappointing someone, or coming across as rude. You’re guilty conscious doesn’t let you live it down.

 

5. Your niceness is often mistaken as a weakness

People are genuinely shocked when they discover that there’s a lot of attitude under the coat of compassion you wear. You’re insulted because people may expect you to be a pushover. When they discover that you’re not, they mistake honesty for aggression instead.

 

6. You overthink everything

Yet – you’ll continuously deny that you don’t overthink everything. Making decisions are difficult.

 

7. You get emotionally exhausted since you forget that you need time to yourself.

Your genuine love for listening to other people’s problems, mixed with the inability to say no often leaves you with hours of one sided conversations. Taking on other people’s problems and emotions has become a hobby for you, but it’s important to allow yourself some downtime.

 

8. Conflict is one of your biggest fears.

You are very good at arguing, but you avoid conflict like the plague. The nice girl actually often engages in heated discussion; however, she probably will hold back on some opinions just to make sure everyone ends on OK terms. To make matters worse, they often end up in the middle of a conflict and and is stuck in a constant dance between sides.

 

9. “Just keep smiling” is your life motto 

Even when you’re having a bad day, only a rare few will notice since you’ve set the (slightly unrealistic) goal of always trying to appear pleasant. If something is troubling you, it’s rare that you’ll volunteer to explain your problems. But, no need to be too concerned, since this has become a natural state for the nice girl.

 

10. Most importantly, you find comfort in knowing everyone around you is happy.

This means you’ll fight to maintain that happy conflict-free equilibrium if possible.

The fact is, some days even you question the genuineness of your personality. Maybe a lot of that sweetness stems from the fact that you’re always trying to avoid conflict.  As much as you love the title, it’s a bittersweet hat to wear, yet you wouldn’t have it any other way!

Samantha is a fourth-year student at, Simon Fraser University, pursuing a double major in political science and communication. When not keeping up with what's new in pop culture, Samantha can often be found sipping on Starbucks drinks, or enjoying one-too-many YouTube videos. Aside from writing for Her Campus, Samantha's passion for fashion, fitness, and nutrition is what keeps her going through the week. She's self-motivated, friendly, and never turns down a cup of tea and a nice chat!
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