I don’t know about you, but I always thought those Valentine’s Day parties we had in elementary school were awesome. I loved everything about them—from decorating my repurposed shoebox, to selecting which valentines I was going to give out to my class, to poring over my massive candy and card haul at the end of the day. These parties really helped to shape my perception of Valentine’s Day, and it’s in the spirit of these parties that I write this article today.
Honestly, I’ve never really understood all of the cynicism surrounding Valentine’s Day. Even when I was a single Pringle—and I was single for almost twenty-two years straight—I didn’t feel particularly bitter about the holiday. I don’t know why. Maybe I just took all of those Valentine’s Day parties we had in elementary school way too seriously, because in my mind, February 14 was the day you got chocolate from your parents and gave out punny cards to your friends. When people sarcastically called it “Singles Awareness Day,” I was always kind of confused. Although I was single, I never really felt left out of the holiday festivities. I mean, I was obviously aware of the day’s association with romantic love, but that always seemed secondary to me.
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the criticisms of Valentine’s Day are totally fair. The commercial version of the holiday seems to conceptualize love almost entirely as a romantic relationship between a man and a woman, while ignoring many other, equally worthwhile loving relationships. First of all, not everyone wants a romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Furthermore, many people have no interest in pursuing romantic or sexual relationships at all, while still enjoying satisfying, loving relationships with friends and family. Finally, the commercial version of Valentine’s Day practically equates love with spending a lot of money, which is unfair and highly materialistic.
In spite of all that, I still believe that Valentine’s Day is holiday worth celebrating, because, at its core, it’s a holiday that encourages people to show love. I don’t think anyone would deny that the world desperately needs more love right now, especially in today’s tense political climate. However, celebrating Valentine’s Day doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to subscribe to Hallmark’s heteronormative, materialistic vision of love. You can use Valentine’s Day to celebrate whatever kind of love you want, whether that’s the love of your friends, your family, your pet, yourself, or your significant other(s). If you want to spend money on flowers, cards, and chocolates, you can, but you can also show your love with homemade gifts and random acts of kindness. So, instead of feeling bitter every February 14, let’s take Valentine’s Day back. Instead of a holiday only for couples, let’s make it a holiday for everyone—just like those elementary school Valentine’s Day parties.