Welcome to the Broken Hearts Club, babe.
Being broken up with isn’t easy. Trust me, I’d know. It’s been approximately three weeks since my boyfriend dumped me. But surprisingly, I’m okay. Although I miss him, and I obviously still think about him, I know that at the end of the day I don’t need him. And you don’t either.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a part of me that can’t believe it’s real, and I still cry at the most random of times (the most recent event being during my yoga session…thank goodness it was virtual), but I’ve found ways to cope with it. And I want to share these ways with you, just so you know you’re not alone. You’ll get through this, and so will I—together. So read on darling, and let’s grow past this and prosper. It’s Hot Girl Summer after all!
One of the most important things to do is remind yourself that, regardless of the reason they broke up with you, it’s not your fault. One of the first thing’s I thought after my break up was that it was because of me; “Well maybe if I was prettier”, “Maybe if I were to lose weight”, “Maybe if I wore makeup more often”. This mindset won’t fix things! And you shouldn’t have to change yourself for someone you love, they should love you for you.
Therefore, I began to tell myself I was beautiful more often, appreciating all the little things he didn’t. So, next time you’re in the mirror, tell yourself you’re pretty! But don’t stop there. Take a look at yourself, even the bits and pieces you might not like, and find the beauty. Because trust me honey, you’re gorgeous. Both inside and out. So say it! Tell yourself you’re intelligent, strong, ethereal (a personal favorite of mine), one-of-a-kind. Because you are all of those things and more.
- Take Time
First things first: honey, get out of bed, wash your face, change your clothes. Look good, feel good, and try to create an environment where you feel like you can move forward.
Now this one is a little nuanced. When I say take time, I mean it in a complex sense: take time for yourself, your body, mind, and soul. Everyone's a little different, so how you do this might vary from how I do. But maybe you can take inspiration from my experiences. Regardless, time is a necessity when dealing with a breakup. Some things that have been helping me cope have been journaling, working out, and yoga.
Journaling your thoughts and emotions can be invigorating. Although I’m sure you’ve been venting to your friends about the break up like I have, journaling allows you to say the things you won't say out loud. So, take the time to write down your frustrations, your memories with your ex, the things you wanted to say, and still do. Then turn the page, and move on.
As for working out and yoga, they have helped me reconnect with myself. I have always had a passion for fitness; however, the breakup made me realize that, a lot of the time, I was doing it in order to maintain an attractive image for my partner. But now, I do it to stay strong and healthy, to feel good for myself. The time I set aside to better my body is for me, and no one else. As it should be. Because like I’ve said before, whoever you end up with should love you for you, not just your body.
- Cry It Out
You read that right, cry! Coming from someone who hates crying, it’s been one of the best ways of helping me through the break up. You don’t have to be strong and force a smile. You have every right to cry, and should be able to do so freely without feeling weak for it. If you’re hurting, if something sparks up a memory, if you’re missing them, it’s okay to let it out.
There have been so many times where I’ve watched a simple TikTok that I’ve wanted to send to him, gone to do so, then remembered I can’t anymore. Times where I want to tell him about something that’s happened to me during my day, when I remember he’s not the person I can share those things with now. Or even times where I simply just want to hear his voice, his laugh, and realize that I never will again. And during these times, I cry.
So I’m here to tell you, it’s okay to cry. You’re not the only one who reminisces on things that once were, and it’s okay to shed some tears over what’s been lost. Just remember that it gets better, as cheesy as that may sound, and that one day you’ll laugh and smile again without them.
- Make A Playlist
As tempting as it may be to make a playlist full of songs like, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo, especially with her newest album release “SOUR”, don’t do it (still give the album a listen though...it’s pretty good). Instead, try making a playlist full of songs that make you feel empowered! Songs that remind you of your worth, make you want to dance, and maybe even do a runway model walk across your bedroom. Hearing songs that make me feel good instantly brightens my mood and keeps me from sulking over my breakup. So add songs from Rihanna, Beyonce, Megan Thee Stallion, SZA, Miley Cyrus, whoever brings you joy and makes you feel hot! And keep that playlist on repeat babe.
Breakups are hard. But we’ll get through it. Hopefully, with the help of some of the tips I’ve given, it’ll be a little easier for you. Even if it’s just for the fact that you know that you’re not alone in this. Because you’re not.
Just remember: you’re beautiful, intelligent, strong, and so much more. Now is our time to thrive, grow our connections to ourselves, and have one hell of a Hot Girl Summer.
Good luck on your journey love, you’ve got this!