My mom and I have always been best friends. I mean I’d lived with her my entire life, obviously, and we had always had a close and positive relationship. When I got accepted to SDSU, 3,000 miles away from my hometown in Pennsylvania, we both knew our relationship would look very different. I was ecstatic to have the freedom that comes with moving into college, but I still wanted my family to know how much I love them and not fall out of touch. Now, two years into all of this, I believe my mom and I have developed a good system to stay in communication but allow for independence and personal growth that comes with adulthood and living on your own.
At first, it was difficult, for the first time in my life I had all the freedom in the world and so much to do and explore! My mom, used to how things used to be, would call me several times each day and be disappointed or worried when I didn’t answer. Texting appeared to be another issue, as it’s hard to communicate your tone and we weren’t having conversations about anything with significant substance like we used to. So if calling and texting were out, what was left to try?
Letter writing.
I’m serious–I know it seems like an ancient practice but it’s what we did. I rolled my eyes at this idea at first, we have phones for a reason, right? My mom explained it’s how she communicated with her mom when she went off to college as a first-gen, and how my dad communicated to his family when he was in the navy. I figured it was worth a shot, and it would make my family happy, which is all that mattered to me…and it turned out to be an amazing idea!
I now send letters to my mom and dad regularly, whether the reason is that we have not connected in a bit or I have something big I want to document, it seems to be a meaningful and heartfelt way to stay in touch. Of course, I still call and text them, but there’s something so personal about taking time to write out your thoughts. I keep every letter they write me and hang them on my wall as a reminder of the amazing family I have back home. I started sending letters to my best friend from high school and other family members as well when I was missing them, and I think it has brought me closer to all of them.
College can be hectic, and it’s easy to get wrapped up in life and forget those not directly in front of you. However, I think it is extremely important to remember to stay in touch with your loved ones when you are apart, no matter what that channel of communication looks like. Personally, writing has always been a love of mine, and using it to express my love to others has really resonated with me. Whether it is writing a letter, facetime, zoom, or email, making the effort will be noticed.
So if you do one thing today, remind someone you love them, it could rekindle a relationship and serve you both.