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MODERN LOVE: Help! I’m in a “Situationship” and I Can’t Commit!

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SDSU chapter.


“Situationship” is a new term coined by Generation Z to describe the phenomenon of having an intimate relationship with someone without the commitment.  

Vogue magazine refers to these situationships as the talking stage, the newest form of dating torture. Torture it is, for most of us. According to Vogue, the talking stage qualifies as going to dinner, going home with them, having sex, forming a connection with the person’s dog, and topping it off with the classic: a forehead kiss. What about this experience screams “just talking”? How has our generation forgotten that even committed relationships are allowed to terminate? That is the difference between a relationship and marriage. You can be someone’s girlfriend for two weeks and end it if you so desire. There is an assumed end to a young person’s relationship unless developed otherwise. The serious commitment is marriage, the contract that legally binds you to that other person. 

Growing up with technology, our generation has formed an emotional connection to our online identity and relationships. We are the first generation given the opportunity to have a relationship completely online which is cool but… is it? There are downfalls to constantly having access to people, specifically with dating apps. Situationships have become so popular, in part, due to personalized media apps. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and many other social media give you access to millions of users from around the world. If you have so many options, why would you commit to one? These apps idolize hook-up culture and deter commitment. In an attempt to minimize the amount of options, dating apps allow you to personalize options by blocking out the people that do not check the qualifications that you filter into the settings. Now you’re only seeing people with similar interests to you. Is that better than seeing everyone? What happened to opposites attract? 

The situationship epidemic has also caused an increase in loneliness among the targeted age groups 18-25. Girls in a situationship, you know what I’m talking about. The occasional fulfillment of physical and emotional connection can only satisfy for so long without the need for exclusivity. You’re not wrong for needing that! Women have high levels of emotional intelligence, that “need” what we can call your “mental notification,” warning you that you might feel lonely. In fact, Vogue reported that 62% of Hinge users were left feeling lonely and unsatisfied by their situationship, while even more statistics indicate that it is almost rare to be happy with one. Longer into the situationship, there is more emotional investment and you start wondering… Where is he tonight? Why hasn’t he texted yet? Wait…is it wrong for me to care about this? How much is socially acceptable for me to care? These questions are the start of a lonely journey, ladies. 

Overall, if you have fallen and one of you can’t commit, it is your life alert telling you to stop having situationships.    

Hi! My name is Emily Lytle and this is my first semester with Her Campus. I am a senior graduating in May 2023 with a major in Communications and minor in Spanish. Can't wait to explore more of my creativity and collaborate with the rest of the SDSU HC chapter. Feel free to reach out to me at (602) 531-0447 with any topics you would like to learn more about or see on our website, thank you!!!