dear so&So,
I used to love mindlessly scrolling. Social media had become one of my favorite pastimes, embarrassingly so. You should have seen my screentime… or maybe you shouldn’t have. Notice I am talking in the past tense. I used to love scrolling on Instagram to see what’s new in fashion and check in on who is doing what. Well, until I started checking in a bit too frequently. My curiosity turned into an obsession with social media and a downward spiral of comparison. When I check my social media now, immediately I am anxiety-ridden. From comparing my life to celebrities, to obsessively checking my like counting, to second-guessing friendships based on whether or not someone comments on my picture. I want to focus on myself rather than focusing on if my grid is aesthetically pleasing or not. Do you have any tips, So&So? How can I stop comparing myself to others on social media?
Signed,
Queen of Comparing Content
Dear Queen of Comparing Content,
Social media is a black hole that will inevitably suck you in if you come close to it. Even the strongest people I know fall victim. Seriously. My dad made an account on TikTok during quarantine. So trust me, I feel you.
In middle school, I was obsessed with these lifestyle Youtubers and Instagram travel bloggers. The OG’s like Bethany Mota and Alisha Marie, you know. I based my life on these girls’ lives. I intentionally shopped at the stores they shopped at and wanted to eat at the restaurants they talked about in their vlogs. I may have been innocently following the lives of my social media role models but in high school, this pattern changed. My innocent inspiration became an obsession with different celebrities. These celebrities often were thin models, fashion icons, and influencers sponsored by brands I could only dream of affording. This is where the comparison began for me.
It is so easy to overconsume yourself on social media. More often than not, 15 minutes of scrolling somehow turns into several hours. The point is, you are absolutely not alone in your obsession because I am sure that almost every teenage girl has had a similar experience. Unfortunately, living in the digital age means this is the reality we have become accustomed to. Although, we can actively try to turn social media back into a few minutes of leisurely activity, rather than an overwhelming obsession.
Social media is not many people’s genuine reality. As many say, social media is a highlight reel of people’s manufactured moments that are overlaid with several filters. Every picture uploaded onto social media is precisely curated to fit the way that people want their lives to be perceived. It is easy to assume that the people we are seeing through our blue-lit screens are perfect individuals. This makes it easier to compare ourselves to these people and plant the thought that we can never measure up. Although, how can one ever measure up to an inauthentic, delicately curated version of someone? Comparison through social media is a hurtful and unfair game that we play, and we need to teach ourselves how to stop playing it for our own mental health.
A spell of social media comparison and obsession happens to everyone. One bad day and seeing someone’s one good Instagram post can send me in a downward spiral. But this shouldn’t be the case. Let your mindless scrolling become leisurely again and not obsessive. When you want to stalk someone or feel the need to compare your life to a curated Instagram post, actively choose not to. Better yet, unfollow the accounts that you find yourself comparing yourself to the most. Try to use social media as a way to stay connected with your friends, rather than comparing yourself to them. Queen of Comparing Content, when you are elbows deep on Instagram in one of your worst moments, remember that social media is a highlight reel that is filled with everyone’s best moments.
XOXO, So&So