Chill Out, Ladies

Okay ladies, I want you to close your eyes (metaphorically of course, please keep reading). Now picture a simple world; a world where all of the guys you talk to mean exactly what they say. What a concept! A boy says he’s tired? He’s tired. A boy says he likes you? He likes you. Isn’t this world wonderful?

Now, I want you to open your eyes. Congratulations, you have made your fantasies a reality, because that is the world we live in! Believe it or not, us guys do mean what we say. There are no double meanings or backwards metaphors attached to our dialogue. We are quite simple beings if you haven’t noticed.

Now I will admit, there are some guys that do lie and manipulate and cheat, and I apologize for them. However, the vast majority of us are nice and simple. If you ask us how we are feeling, we will tell you. If we don’t want to talk about it, we’ll tell you. If we say we don’t want to talk about it, for the love of all that is good and holy DO NOT TRY TO TALK ABOUT IT. Just because he just explicitly told you he doesn’t want to talk it doesn’t mean he’s mad at you, but he will be if you keep pushing it. 

 Now, there is one scenario that we can be a little ambiguous on. Honestly, it’s a simple phrase, but it tends to confuse us (again, really simple beings). When you say “How are you?” things get a little tricky. Now, when posed with this question, it is often polite to say “I’m good, how are you?”(also, please don’t be that a**hole that corrects my grammar). If he is a half-decent guy, this will be his response.

However, if you are really trying to find out how he is doing and not just trying to be polite, all you have to do is dig a little deeper. Just say something like “are you sure?” or “just good?” once. That’s it. One time. He’ll either elaborate or he’ll say he doesn’t want to talk about it, at which point to leave it (see above all caps sentence). And voila, you have successfully navigated the one complex conversation strategy us guys use! 

 So, at the end of the day ladies, chill out. He isn’t insinuating that he’s not interested in you and doesn’t want to see you ever again; he actually has to go study. I give a lot of advice to my female friends and it almost always goes the same way, so please stop over analyzing, over thinking, and driving us crazy. You’re wasting your energy and making us look way smarter and more clever than we actually are.