So, I collaborated with my ladies and we had an excellent discussion on the things we wish people had never said on those fateful nights out. Crazy things make for beautiful stories, but usually those stories are funnier told than experienced. Read it, memorize it, ingrain it. Take it from me, these are 19 things you should NEVER say drunk.
1. “I have never told you this before but…”
2. “You know when you asked me earlier if…and I didn’t have an answer? Well now I suddenly have some clarity…”
3. “You know what? To be honest, I have always thought you were such an a**hole.”
4. “Why don’t we go somewhere quieter…”
5. “Consequences? What consequences? YOLO.”
6. “Ohmygoddddd I am soooo drunk.” (You know you’ve done this before… It is annoying.)
7. “I am in love with you.”
8. “Do I look fat?”
9. “Be honest, what do you think of me?”
10. “Can I put my underwear in your purse?” (True story.)
11. “Who looks better, her or me?”
12. “He doesn’t know yet, but we are no longer together. Want to hook up?”
13. “Threesome?”
14. “Foursome?”
15. “You remind me of that midget on Game of Thrones.” (To the shortest guy at the party.)
16. “You remind me of my ex-boyfriend.” (To the guy you are hooking up with.)
17. “I would totally sleep with you.”
18. “Come over. We can combine my six pack with your six pack and make a hot 12 pack.” (Another true story.)
19. “You are such a bitch. I love you, but you’re such a bitch.”