To all the friends who never really were,
All I ever wanted was to see you happy. Maybe you wanted the same. Maybe you just had a bad way of showing it. You picked me apart. Only called me when it was beneficial to you. You tried teaching me that I would never amount to more than a “sidekick.” Because of you, I now know how to release toxic people and relationships from my life.
To the boy who saw me as an object, rather than a person,
I loved everything about you. Sometimes I even questioned if I loved you. From your crooked smile, to your quick wit, to your oh-so creative mind- you only loved what you saw. You tried teaching me that I was no more than a body. Because of you, I now know how I deserve to be treated. I know my worth.
To the teachers who never stopped comparing me to my older sibling,
I sat in class. I did my work. But, you never stopped with the constant “You’re nothing like your sister.” You were supposed to be teaching me math questions and vocabulary terms. But, instead you tried teaching me that I fall short. Landed in second place. Because of you, I know now how to say, “I am me.” I now know never to compare myself to anyone else.
To the girl who called me self-conceited,
For a while, I really did believe that this was a bad thing- to be self-conceited of course. I thought that it was awful to compliment myself. Deviant even. You tried teaching me that it was sarcastic to say, “I like the person I am.” because of you, I now know how to love myself unconditionally. It doesn’t mean I am conceited, if I can look in the mirror and proudly say that “I am proud to be me.” Because, at the end of the day, that girl in the mirror will be there. Not you.
To myself,
Your heart has been broken. Your home has been broken. All of these people have broken you in one way or another. But, here you are- standing strong. You have never stopped fighting for you. You are here, at this level of confidence, this level of security, because you have refused to let anyone, or anything get in your way.
And to whomever may be reading this,
Never give up on yourself. Never listen to the voices telling you who you should be, rather than who you are. Never stop loving the person who stands before you. That is the person who has never left your side- you.