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My experience being “one of the guys” –how the term has changed

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Scranton chapter.

I met my oldest guy friend in kindergarten and those emotions never changed as we grew up. To me he seemed nice and relatable and was willing to talk to me about anything. As we were growing up, we always wanted to explore and try new things to the point where it just fit for us. I felt like through thick and thin if I never needed anything, I could turn to him and hopefully he would do the same for me.

Throughout my adolescence, I thought it was hard to connect with girls my age. I am fortunate now to have made great female friendships in high school and college, but then I felt confused. I hated how girls were spiteful and willing to start drama. I felt like when girls were excited about one thing, in which I grew to detest it. I was not sure if what girls were saying were genuine or just using it to string me along. Yet I was able to connect with guys, and I was able to form my first friend group with them. We would always watch movies together, eat lunch and talk, and hang out at each other’s houses. They were easy to come to with advice if I was having a difficult day. They were able to understand who I was as a person and expected every part of me.

When high school came around, our old group grew apart, but we still said hi whenever we could. Whatever platonic guy friends that I had did not during the time did not mention anything about pursuing more. Yet in College, I noticed a bit of a change as the months progressed in my first semester. Whenever I was spending time together with my new friends, some of whom were guys, there was an automatic notion that there was romance involved even though it was not the case.

One moment I remember my old roommate saw me spending time together with a couple of my guy friends in my dorm’s lounge playing ping pong. She automatically asked if I had a crush on one of them.

Women should not be made to feel judged because they have platonic guy friends. They have them as friends because they trust them. They believe in their judgment and trust their advice. People should not assume that because people are spending time together, it does not automatically mean that they want to pursue a relationship.

Yet if a girl and a platonic guy friend want to be something more, they totally have the right to do so. It is important for the relationship to be strong; one sets ground rules to ensure the friendship is still in it.

Even though I was considered “one of the guys,” having that experience certainly helped to where I am today. With their help, I was able to know that I crave genuine relationships and know I deserve to be treated with respect. I do not deserve to be cast aside, made fun of, or snickered behind my back. I deserve to be cared about and I deserve to be loved. I want people to laugh with me, cry with me, and go on adventures with me. I want someone to honor and

appreciate all of me–with my flaws, insecurities, and my energy. With what “the boys” taught me, I am grateful that I found people who do see this in me every day and make my life that more exciting.

Amelia Semple

Scranton '25

Hi! My name is Amelia Semple and I'm an English major at the University of Scranton. I love reading, writing, and different forms of media. I also love music and hanging out with my friends. My main goal is trying to do anything that I can to be creative. Feel free to read more of my articles down below!