Growing up I was always very quiet. I never raised my hand in classes unless I was called on and I never would do anything to draw anyone’s eyes on me. Some kids loved having all the attention and spotlight on them but not me, I dreaded it and would always turn bright red if I knew more than three people were looking at me.
One day though out of the 365 days of the year would this be practically unavoidable; my birthday. Some people are luckier than me to have a birthday during summer or winter break but not me, I would always have school on my birthday unless it fell on a weekend. Every year on this day would be the same, I would bring a birthday treat for everyone in my class and they would sing happy birthday to me while I slumped down in my chair wishing I was invisible. I truly can’t be the only person who dislikes being sung happy birthday to while you just sit there awkwardly listening to the off-pitch version of the song.
As I grew older, I got used to all the eyes on me for just a few minutes out of the day and it turned into something else. I don’t know if the distaste I have grown to have for my birthday stems from me never liking all the attention on me no matter what, or that I have only ever seen my birthday as just any other day.
I never feel older on my birthday, and I never feel like I am truly the number that gets put on the cake. I will say though growing up never liking being the center of attention, everyone around me just assumes that I will never want to be the center of attention anymore. Though there are rare occasions when I do, it just seems very out of character for me, so I take the back seat view and do not ask to be front and center.
Though on April 26 I get one day out of 365 days for it to be my day—to do what I want to do even if it is just picking what I want to eat for dinner that night. April 26 has 24 full uninterrupted hours of the whole day being mine and no one else’s is awesome because I do not have to ask anyone in my family to acknowledge me, they just do it because it’s MY birthday, it’s MY special day. As I come closer and closer to my nineteenth birthday in a couple of days, I am stuck here with so many mixed opinions about my birthday.
To sum up, I have a lot of mixed feelings about my birthday, but I will always cherish the one day of the year that revolves around me even if everyone’s eyes are on me for a few minutes.