Hypothetical situation: You meet this guy. You hit it off right away. You spend a lot of time together, and have great chemistry. You know he’s different than all of your other guy friends, and can sense you’re both attracted to each other. You confront him about being something more, and he honestly tells you that while he’s also into you, he’s currently not looking for a serious relationship.
Where do you go from there?
Source: prwatch.org
Your options:
- Just continue being friends, and ignore the obvious attraction.
- Casually engage in sexual acts, without the label or commitment of a relationship.
The latter basically being friends with benefits.
You come to the conclusion that this guy is trustworthy and respects you, so you decide to throw caution to the wind.
But wait just a second. “Friends With Benefits” relationships can be risky, and many caution against them.
However, if handled correctly, they have the potential to be successful, free of hurt feelings and awkward situations.
So lo and behold, your “Friends With Benefits” (FWB) guide book:
- Communication is KEY
Hear me loud and clear? If you don’t feel like you can be open with this guy about what you’re comfortable (and not comfortable) with, FWB is not right for you.
Both of you should be open about how experienced you are, what you done and haven’t done, and what you’re willing to do. If one of you starts sleeping with other people, be willing to share that. Keep each other on the same page, from start to finish.
But more importantly, make sure you both understand this is a FWB situation. Misunderstandings never end well.
- Practice Safe Sex
As obvious as it sounds, it’s very important! Use protection, birth control, etc. If you’ve both slept with other people in the past, it wouldn’t hurt to get checked by a doctor for any STD’s or other infections.
Don’t be afraid to confront your partner about this. If he refuses to use protection and take safety precautions, don’t get in bed with him!
Better safe than sorry.
- Be Aware Of The Consequences
There’s so many movie plots about this one. “Friends With Benefits” with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, “No Strings Attached” with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher.
What do these films have in common? They catch the feels!
For them, it’s a Happily Ever After scenario. But unfortunately for you, your life is not a Rom-Com.
More likely than not, one of you is going to start having feelings for the other (what do you expect when you’re intimate with someone?). And there’s a very good chance they won’t feel the same.
All I’m saying is, be aware that this could happen. What are some ways to avoid this?
- Set Rules And Boundaries
Remember, you two aren’t in a committed, monogamous relationship. You can’t get jealous if they start seeing someone else. You can’t go on dates, and absolutely no PDA!
The line between serious relationship and FWB should never be blurred. That’s when things get confusing.
However, you two are still friends, so treat them like a friend. Don’t use them for JUST sex. They’re more than a booty call.
There’s a lot of strict rules about FWB; no sleeping over, no pre-planning earlier than 72 hours before said hook-up, etc. But at the end of the day, everyone is different and you ultimately get to decide what’s okay and what’s not.
If you two are comfortable cuddling after sex, cuddle away!
- Keep It Fun!
If you’re not enjoying it, then there’s no point in continuing.
Disregard any stereotypes or social norms. Although many say otherwise, you don’t have to be dating the people you sleep with. Being in a “Friends With Benefits” relationship doesn’t categorize you as “easy” or a “slut”. Being sexually attracted to someone and wanting to engage in sexual activities with them just makes you human. We all have to satisfy our cravings somehow.
Serious relationships are just a label, that in some cases don’t get taken seriously anyway (i.e. cheating).
As long as you can trust your partner, know they truly respect you as a person, AND follow these tips, you’re good to go.
In the words of Marvin Gaye, LET’S GET IT ON!
Source: whygirlsarejustsomuchbetter.wordpress.com