1. A lady should never send nudes
Seriously girls, stop. First of all, why do you want a boy to see your body through grainy iPhone pictures? That’s not sexy at all. Second of all, boys aren’t stupid. “I’m only sending it on a two-second Snapchat!” Okay, well, screenshots are a thing. Also, I’ve heard of some guys who have a camera ready to take a picture of the screen of their phone when they get a picture on Snapchat. So please, for the love of God, stop sending nude pictures! If you want a boy to see your body, it should be special, not some two-second grainy picture that you spent forever trying to take so it could be perfect and “sexy”.
2. A lady should wear something other than sweatpants to class
I’ll admit… I occasionally will wear my yoga pants to my 8 am class. Throughout high school, my mom would never let me wear sweatpants to school. It was okay to wear them to a theme day for a sports team that I was on, but other than that, no. Yes, there are currently some sweatpants that have a better fit and are meant to be worn as part of a styled outfit. In this case, I’m not talking about those kinds of sweatpants. I’m talking about your grungy sweatpants, your boyfriend’s sweatpants, or your two-sizes-too-big sweatpants. These just aren’t appropriate in a setting like class, especially at SCAD where we’re being taught by professionals from our industries. Make an effort to dress nicely, trust me, the professor will notice.
3. A lady should send thank you notes
I cannot stress this enough. Ever since I could write, my parents would have me write thank you notes for every gift I received and every event or career orientated thing I attended. This includes interviews, job shadows, internships, gifts, extended-visits at friends or families homes, and many other things. It doesn’t have to be a page long, just a few quick, sincere sentences. Handwritten is normally best, but if it’s for an interview or something that is an on-going process, e-mail is fine.
4. A lady should never post super personal situations on social media
There’s a difference between posting a sassy Taylor Swift or Beyoncé lyric versus straight up calling out your ex. Some things should be left off of social media. No one needs to know about your latest court appearance, run-in with the law, details about how your boyfriend cheated on you, how you got fired from your job, or how you lost two pounds last week. These details can absolutely be texted immediately to your bestie, but it’s best to keep them off social media, where family members, your church community, professors, or anyone else who would read your post and say “TMI” can see them.
5. A lady should respect her elders
Professors, parents, parents of your friends, community members, your waitress, etc. These people are older and wiser than you, and probably have a lot of good advice for your future. They won’t want to share this advice if you’re constantly rude or snappy. Don’t take them or their wisdom for granted. One day you’ll wish you had more time with them.
6. A lady should hold the door for others
Forget about that old rule that a man should always hold the door. Yeah, he should, but so should a lady. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a boy, a girl, a young child, an elderly woman, your boss, or someone you’ve never met- just hold the door! It’s a simple act of kindness, and literally the easiest and one of the most meaningful things you can do for someone else during their busy day.
7. A lady should put her phone down at dinner
There’s nothing worse than being at dinner and trying to have a conversation with someone who has their nose in their phone. It’s embarrassing that we can’t hold conversations anymore. What’s even more embarrassing is when your friend can’t wait one hour or less to check social media. Here’s a fact that girls seem to forget: those posts will still be there in an hour.
8. A lady should be self-confident
The sexiest thing is when a girl is confident about herself. As always, there’s a difference between being confident and cocky. You don’t need to parade around like you’re the best and everything you do is perfect. At the same time, keep in mind that you truly are incredible, talented, kind and beautiful. And ladies, PLEASE stop writing, “ugh I look so ugly today” on your Facebook photos! You don’t look ugly, I promise. You’re beautiful and you should think that you’re beautiful. Stop picking out which parts of your body you don’t like. I once heard a girl told me she doesn’t like her knees. Really? Cause I love my knees, I’d have an awfully hard time walking, sitting on the ground, playing golf, dancing, or doing yoga without them. Love your body, and love yourself.
9. A lady should stop fearing the single life
Sure, I fear it sometimes. It’s nice to have someone to always talk to, someone who will always tell you that you look beautiful, or that you’re wonderful. But as I was saying, you have to love yourself! If you don’t believe that you’re beautiful or wonderful, how are you going to function if a guy suddenly decides he doesn’t want to be the one to tell you those things anymore? It is hard to be single, but it’s fun too. You can go out with your girlfriends and talk to any guy you want, even if it’s just friendly flirting. We’re in college, and most of us are under 21. We’re sooooo young! There’s so much more time left in our lives, so why are we so caught up in constantly having a relationship? Be patient, learn to love yourself, and embrace the single life.
10. A lady should know when to let go of a toxic friendship
I know far too many girls who hold onto a friendship for way too long. Friendships run their course. It’s definitely harder these days to let go, because of social media and texting. You’re worried what the girl might say about you, but if you don’t feel like you’re being treated how you should be treated, let go! You can’t live life with a million friends, and it’s actually better not to. If you have a few close friends, they will end up being much more valuable than multiple half-effort friendships. It’s okay to not want to be friends with someone who you’ve been friends with for a day, a week, a year, or even longer. People change all the time, and if you feel as if you and a friend have fallen off of the friendship path, don’t be afraid to walk away.
Special birthday shout-out to my mama, who taught me all of these things, and more. Happy birthday mama, I love you!