Here’s What Queer Women Want You All to Know

Ladies, we may live in a world where LGBT+ rights are becoming more recognised and progress has been made towards equality, but let’s face it: heteronormative expectations won’t go away as long as the mindset still exists. There may be certain misconceptions to what is like to live as a queer woman. So, here’s to all the lovely sapphic ladies out here from a Reddit AskWomen thread, “Lesbian and Bi women, what is something you would like to tell straight women?” All responses are anonymous and some may be shortened for length and clarity.

1) “Being bi does not mean being attracted to everyone. I don't go through life having sexual tension with all of my friends (or any of them, for that matter). Attraction is complicated and it takes a while to cultivate. The stereotypes are garbage. I'm simply not attracted to most people.”

2) “We're not automatically into you, even if we're friends and can admit that you're pretty. We're not predators, we can do everything straight girls can do in terms of physical affection and it doesn't have to be weird. But also we're not here to be experimented with or dance provocatively with at clubs when you want male attention. Get out of here with that mentality.”

3) “I'm not attracted to every woman or even most women.”

4) “Don't 'out' me without my permission. I will tell people that I'm a lesbian if I want to. On a similar note, don't act like you were privy to that information upon first meeting.”

5) “I’m not here for your experimental phase. I’m not here for your only-when-drunk make out sessions. I’m not here to spice up your marriage or your dead bedroom. I’m not taking you to a queer bar as entertainment or attending your bachelorette at a gay bar. And I’m not tolerating any homophobic remarks, no matter how small or inconsequential.”

6) “Some of us end up with male partners just out of sheer lack of options in the gay/bi community. Gay and bi women make up something like 3%(?) of the population which drastically limits the number of potential partners before we even talk about our own personal preferences and deal breakers.”

7) “Being bisexual is only a small piece of who I am. It does not define me, It's only part of me.”

8) “I don't know how to answer. Because I am attracted to men and women, but only had relationships with men. Am I even really bi if I never dated a woman? Or does that make me a straight girl with some lesbian phantasies?

9) “Most straight women I know are settling with men who aren't worth it. Men should be held to higher standards.”

10) “Just because you're a woman doesn't mean I want to f*** you. I also don't want to make out with you when you're drunk - I'm a person, not a cute drunk photo opp.”