Traditionally, it’s expected for boys to chase after girls. They’re the ones expected to make the first move, to pay for the dates and court their romantic interests by buying her flowers and pretty trinkets. It’s a stereotype as old as soda pop and baseball games. But how have things changed since the classic days of dinner-and-movie dates and old school romance? How does dating truly differ for boys versus girls?
In order to get a male perspective on this, I spoke to my friend Hugo Vasquez here at SCAD Atlanta. He’s a sophomore working steadily towards a B.F.A. in architecture. I couldn’t help but notice how well dressed he was and how he carried himself with plenty of charm and confidence. Not surprisingly, Hugo’s had a steady dating life since his early high school years—sorry ladies, this one’s taken.
Alexia Zarate: Do you think there are big gender expectations when it comes to dating?
Hugo Vasquez: I think that there’s some differences but it’s still the same thing, you know? Dating is equal for both people—it’s about love and finding a connection with someone. I guess girls tend to get more emotional about things but it’s not like guys don’t put their heart out there, too. The feelings are the same, we just go about showing them in different ways.
AZ: What do you think of traditional dating? Guys making all the first moves, paying for dates, things like that.
HV: I like to keep things traditional. I don’t think that it’s something most couples still practice but for me, I like having that experience of flirting and asking a girl out. It’s really romantic.
AZ: And you’re a romantic kind of guy.
HV: Yeah! I really am.
Hugo and his girlfriend during their high school sweetheart days. Photo courtesy of Hugo Vasquez.
AZ: As a girl, it makes me nervous to approach a guy that I really like. Is it easier for boys to do that since it’s expected of them to show interest in the girl?
HV: For some guys, maybe. But there’s still a fear of rejection just the same. I don’t ask a girl out until I’m positive that she likes me back. A lot of girls nowadays are very protective too. They’re not super open to being approached if they don’t know you. Not in a “I want to date you” kind of way.
AZ: What kind of things to guys look for to see if a girl is interested in them?
HV: Eye contact. Body language like playing with their hair or sitting next to us. My girlfriend sat down next to me everyday in class before we started going out. She was always happy to see me and that’s what really let me know she liked me. I think it’s important to hang out with them outside of class too.
AZ: Do you think it’s true that guys have bigger commitment issues than girls?
HV: No. Not for me, anyway. I made plans to marry my best friend when I was 18. We just got along so well and were so comfortable with each other that it seemed the best thing to do. For guys, it’s about finding a girl we really love and feeling ready to spend the rest of our lives with her. Girls jump into that kind of thing faster, maybe that’s where the stereotype comes from.
AZ: I don’t think most guys are like you.
HV: No, probably not. (laughs) I was raised by a really romantic dad.
So how about it? What do you all think is different across genders when it comes to love? Or is it the same for everybody? Leave your comments below.