You don’t have to be Good to Enjoy It!

I’ve always considered myself somewhat of a perfectionist. I was always an A+ student throughout school and if I got below a 95%, I would cry. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that serious. 

I wanted to be the best at everything and felt a particular calling toward any topic a teacher told me I was good at. I was told early in elementary school that I was “bad” at art, and so I stopped trying in art class and focused more on music.

I always wanted to learn piano and guitar, but after two guitar lessons, my teacher told me I didn’t have the hand shape to continue learning. Every time I was shut down by a teacher, I stopped trying. 

When I arrived at Bonas, I discovered that many people know a lot more than I do…and that’s okay. It’s taken me some time to realize that I am just as worthy as they are to be in a class and I am allowed to learn from where I am. 

The class I see this the most in right now is my theology through film class. In all honesty I have always been more of a fan of tv series over sitting down and watching a film. But one of my friends wanted me to take the class with him and so I registered for it and fought to enroll in it when all the spots were taken. 

Instead of letting this stop me and cause me to think that it must be fate that I don’t take the class, I turned my perspective to, “it’s out of my comfort zone, and that’s okay”. 

Often, I feel uneducated and unworthy to be in the class. It’s something I can usually brush off, but I know the professor sees my panic when he asks the class a question and I hesitate to raise my hand. I want to be a more active student and participate like my peers do, but I never feel like I have enough information to give constructive comments. 

When I was younger, I wanted to become more politically aware. I didn’t know the best way to gain a perspective and so I avoided doing my research until about two years ago. I still don’t talk super openly about politics, but I am learning. I don’t know all the policies, nor can I identify what each role of a U.S. Representative is. 

I am allowed to keep on learning and growing in my knowledge. I do not have to have all the answers, especially at 19 years old. I have worked hard to learn past what my parents taught me, and that in itself is an accomplishment. Knowing my opinion has value and that I never have to stop learning has changed my perspective greatly. 

I am a work in progress and it’s beautiful!

• education
• growth
• learning