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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I didn’t know what cottagecore was until I downloaded Tik Tok. We have all seen the videos of women wearing floral dresses dancing in a meadow and reading a book. I did not know that was the aesthetic I wanted to have until I got to college. 

To backtrack, I did not know what my style was for a long time. In high school, I kind of just threw on clothes that would hide my body. Long sleeves and jeans in order to hide how skinny my arms and legs were. Then sometime during senior year, I had a revelation. And yes, it did come after a breakup (as all good things seem to). Not to go on a side rant but after a breakup, you just want to dye your hair and do new things that signify you are not the same person anymore. After my breakup, I decided I was going to wear what I want. That is when I really started exploring crop tops and short skirts. But it was a slow process. Looking back at my high school pictures now I cringe because . . . ew. 

As a freshman in college, I started online shopping more. Bodysuits, fishnets and lingerie. Pieces of cloth that I somehow managed to make stay around my chest. But it was not really what I wanted to wear. I was exploring all the wrong places. Buying those clothes did not make me feel happy; it made me feel like an imposter. Then the pandemic happened and I was at home in sweatpants and pajamas every day. 

But with the help of Tik Tok, I found black women that not only think like me but that have the style I want to have. I still love tight jeans and “slutty” clothes. And the lingerie bodysuits that you can wear in the bedroom and out to dinner? Love it.

I am drawn to pastels now. Light yellows, pale pinks, and soft blues. Nothing that screams I’M IN YOUR FACE LOOK AT ME.  I want my clothes to really reflect who I am. Soft with a love for stuffed animals. I want to wear clothes that make me feel like I am reading a book in the sun. Or that I am on my way to a picnic to eat strawberries. Online shops like Shop Cider have some pieces that I am for sure planning to splurge on. 

And yet sometimes I find myself wanting to dress elegantly and look like the women on luxury girl Tik Tok. The jet setters in different countries sipping wine on patios. They mostly dress in black, white and other neutral colors. Never too showy but not too modest either. Their jewelry is subtle, but the red bottoms let you know they are not playing. Only the most expensive purses on their shoulders.

Do you know what pastel goth is? If you look it up on Pinterest that is what I want. Black and pink have never looked so good together. I think I remember someone saying that. Was it London Tipton? She was absolutely right. Chunky pink boots, black chokers and leather skirts. Tell me that does not say: I’m a bad bitch with a soft side. 

So how do I fit cottagecore, luxury and pastel goth into my closet? I do not know, and I am still trying to figure it out. Currently, I am on the jeans + shirt from Fashion Nova vibe, but it is no longer appealing to me. 

Who knows what my style will be in the next couple of years. I am always changing. 

Hello! I'm a junior Journalism student with a minor in Criminology. I have a love for books, true crime and cats. You can often find me curled up on the couch with a romance novel while sipping some coffee.
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