So, it finally happened. Maybe you knew it was coming or maybe it was out of the blue, but here you are. You and your partner just broke up, and it is the worst feeling in the world. Not to be dramatic but, this is that scene in the movie where the woman is sliding down the back of her door crying.
And you know what? That is okay. Breakups suck! They are painful, messy, make your chest hurt, your eyes and nose run and sometimes even take away your appetite. With some breakups, it is like you are going through the grieving process. You lost that person and now you have to grieve them and move on.
Here is a little guide on what to do after your breakup.
- Cry
Feel your feelings. Do not stuff them deep down and pretend they are not there. It is okay to cry. When you cry it is a release not just for your body but your mind as well. All the stress that you are holding in can come out. There is no shame in crying. In your car, in the shower, in bed (these are all places where you might find yourself breaking down). Once you cry, you can clear your head to face what is next.
- Eat
You may not feel like eating. Or you might be the person who wants to eat the feelings away. Make sure to stay hydrated and drink lots of water if you have been crying. If you find you do not have an appetite then eat small like bananas, rice, toast, saltine crackers. Drink some tea. You need your energy and your strength. But also if you need to indulge in junk food and sweets; that’s okay too. After all, ice cream never broke your heart.
- No Contact
Oh yes. You might not want to, but this is the best thing for you. Unfollow, unfriend and block! No contact with your ex is out of sight and out of mind. When you can see their posts and activity on social media it is more tempting to reach out and scroll through some pictures and even like a post. But no. The sooner you can stop seeing them on social media the easier it will be to move on.
- Talk to someone
Talk to your friends or your family. You may want to push everyone away but this is the time to tell them what happened, and how you are feeling. Whoever is in your support group, turn to them. If you feel like you need something more, consider talking to a counselor or therapist.
- Self-care
TREAT YOURSELF. Go to the spa, binge watch your favorite movies or shows or get your nails done. Whatever is going to make you feel like that bitch again…do it. Now, I would not recommend doing something permanent and life-changing and impulsive. But…a hair color change and cut will have you feeling like a brand new person. Journal your day and go on a shopping spree. Treat yourself. If there is something you could not have while you were in that relationship, then now is the time to go and get it.
Give yourself that time and space to grieve. You might occasionally find yourself thinking of them. Maybe you will see something or smell something, and you feel that ache in your chest. Feel it, let it pass through and continue. Every day after the first, the pain will hurt less and less. Remember that you are only human. Leave the house, feel the sun on your face and even exercise. Soon you will feel just like yourself again.
Time will heal all. I truly believe everything will be okay.