This is the year to stop saying sorry.
I understand this concept can be misleading at first. I am not encouraging you to no longer have self-awareness around your wrongdoings and take accountability for them. I feel that the way the word sorry is thrown around is way too often for things that do not need to be apologized for.
As a society, I feel that we have this need to apologize so frequently. I am not sure why, whether it’s to please others, a sense of fault, guilt that we may have or to avoid any potential conflict. I am slowly coming to the realization that it’s just not needed all the time.
For some of us, it is a natural behavior to slip an ‘im sorry’ in every once and a while. Whether we bump into someone, aren’t able to be present at something or simply when we are asking for help.
One thing we can self-reflect on is when it’s typical for you to apologize, and consider whether that apology was necessary or you just felt the need to take the blame.
You do not need to say sorry for things that did not deserve an apology in the first place. You do not need to say sorry for doing what’s best for you. Whether that is setting boundaries, doing things on your own time, not being perfect, making your own dreams happen or saying no.
When you are putting yourself as your top priority, you do not need to apologize.
I recognize that this can be scary or intimidating at first. Often creating conflict is the route one does not want to take, leading to apologizing to avoid any potential chaos. This also may be an involuntary reaction of many, as this has been a normal behavior.
Recently, I listened to a podcast that talked about replacing ‘im sorry’ with ‘thank you’ instead. I didn’t understand it at first, I felt wrong because I am used to over-apologizing.
Instead of feeling sorry for being late, be thankful people waited for you. Instead of feeling sorry for asking for help, be grateful someone took the time to explain it to you. This shifts the narrative. Instead of constantly feeling guilty about ourselves, we find gratitude in the people and places around us.
This does not make you selfish, conceded or cocky in any way. It rather empowers individuals to focus on their wants and needs. Recognizing that things are okay to do without feeling guilty can become the best form of self-care.