This is directly a message to Punxsutawney Phil:
Attention Phil, drop the act.
For those that don’t keep up with Groundhogs Day and what happens, once a year, a groundhog comes out of its burrows and if it sees a shadow, that means 6 more weeks of winter(boo). But on the slight chance that he doesn’t see his shadow, then we get blessed with an early spring.
Luckily, this year, both Punxsutawney Phil and Staten Island Chuck didn’t see their shadows and we now are on our way to an early spring!
The only problem is this: it’s been snowing for the past two days.
Now some of you may be thinking, “Why aren’t you mad at Staten Island Chuck? He lied, too.” No, he didn’t. I will forever love Staten Island Chuck. If Chuck has one fan, it’s me. I’m a biased Southern New York girly at heart, what can I say?
For the past few days, I’ve been walking around my campus in what feels like the trenches of Antarctica and praying for spring to come.
For the first week after Groundhogs Day, Phil had us fooled with some warmer weather and sunshine. But now what’s this? A BLIZZARD? How dare you, Phil?!
I’m here to spread the news to you all that Punxsutawney Phil is a fake. A phony, even. He’s no better than a junkyard rabbit.
Spring is supposed to be a time of new beginnings, fresh flowers, sunshine, and smiles. It’s almost March and all I’ve seen is slush on the ground, which I’ve fallen in might I add. And there’s only one creature to blame: Punxsutawney Phil.
I would never want to publicly slander the name of an innocent being, but this groundhog is no innocent being.
He’s a fraud.
Over the past decade, Phil has had only a 30% accuracy rate, yet we still continue to put this thing on television? Might I also add that Staten Island Chuck has had an 80% accuracy rate, thus why he is superior.
I believe that we’ve given Phil more than enough time to prove he was worthy of being a famous groundhog, but he’s failed every single time.
Time to hit the road, Phil. Your days as a D-list celebrity are over!