Any school within a university or degree requires some sort of networking, whether it be through Linkedin, in-person structured events, or just casual chatting. While this is true for every college student, since joining the Jandoli school, there is such an increased importance on alumni connection. As someone who gets a lot of stress talking to strangers, and even people I already know, events like the Hellinger or casual mingling can be really anxiety inducing. While I do not have this skill down to a science, at all, here are some of my tips that have helped me in small ways.
- Find a commonality
A lot of the people I have met through the Jandoli school for internships and such are alumni. Bonnies help Bonnies. This makes it a little easier because if I run out of things to talk about academically, I can always ask them if they lived in Dev, what the dining hall was like, or their favorite basketball memory. They love this stuff and it is interesting to hear how the school has changed over generations. If the person you are talking to is not an alum, find some general things that you may have in common (vacation spot, favorite baseball team, even just the city you live in). The world is small and it probably will not be too difficult to at least find something small.
- Have a story or anecdote in your back pocket
When the conversation gets stale, it can be helpful to have something on deck to casually bring up. For Jandoli events, it is usually the fact that I love writing for Her Campus or our women in communications group I am working with. Before an event, try to think of a long term project you have, summer plans, even just a relevant essay you are writing, that you can bring up that can at least buy you another minute or so.
- Have a buddy
There is no shame in traveling in groups. Eventually for interviews and such you will be alone, but for a lot of these events, it can be more fun (and safe) to go with a friend or two. It gives you a bit of a security blanket, and they can help hold you accountable for going out of your comfort zone. You can also play off of eac hother with anecdotes and perspectives. Then for at least half the conversation, the attention may not always be on you.
- Know that they want to help you, and probably feel just as awkward
A lot of the adults you are talking to have been exactly in your shoes. It is helpful to remember that even if I do not make the perfect first impression, adults who come to these events love students and genuinely want to see you succeed (again, especially alumni). Additionally, they probably feel just as awkward! Even though they might have more to share, a lot more adults have anxiety, or at least social burnout, than you might expect.
- You can always chat for a little and excuse yourself
If things get really stressful, you can always excuse yourself and just use the restroom as a reset. Even if you make a little deal with yourself: “if I go and mingle for 30 mins, I’m gonna take a 3 minute break in the bathroom to catch up on my phone”. This might seem silly but it has really helped with my stress levels knowing that I am doing the socializing in more manageable segments.