Last weekend I was sitting with my mom at the Vans store as my sister tried on shoes. Somehow we got on the topic of all the boys we have kissed. My mom proclaims that we have something called the “Martuscello effect” (Martuscello is my mom’s last name). Martuscellos are good kissers- dynamic as she put it, and can swoon the menfolk (you can tell they have the gene a bit more than I do).
With a shoebox in her hand, my mom tips back her head in reminiscence: “One guy I dated at college worked at the Reebok store and would send me free shoes when I was at school. He would visit me while working at a remote summer camp.”
Then she proceeds to ask us if we want to know how they met: “I was at a party and he was the one guy wearing a pink button-down shirt with 4 buttons open. He was a true Italian guy with a lot of chest hair. So I approached him and asked if I could touch it.” Isn’t she cool for that?
Talking to my mom about her younger years is always fun because she is the coolest. I would have loved to be friends with her in high school. She did the announcements, was in the rock ensemble, performed in Spanish musicals, played field hockey, and was friendly to all she came across. To this day she hangs out with people from when she was 4 years old to people she met in high school.
Every year she plans the high school reunion that attracts 200-plus people that travel from states as far as California and Arizona. It has been 40 years and they are still getting together! I love how her generation has such a sense of community. She is a vital part of it.
College she deemed her drunken years: “We were broke so we did funnels and got drunk pretty fast so we could save the money. Junior and Senior year I calmed down since I was an RA. Not that we didn’t play spin the bottle in my room ’cause we did!”
Now she is the lead singer in a local rock band. Do I have to convince you of her coolness anymore?? Her band is called Saturday Night Jams. She and 3 friends meet every week to practice and record songs for their Facebook page with their highest-watched video being 1.5k views.
They have had several gigs at different fundraisers, bars and restaurants. They will open for another band and the place will be PACKED. When it comes time for the headliner to perform most people head out because they were all there to see my mom!
When prompted to speak about her coolest moment she talked about coming up with the idea for an accessible playground in Syracuse for kids with developmental disabilities. The playground is called Wegmans Boundless Playground. Boundless means that regardless of a child’s abilities, children will all be able to play together. It is a 40,000 sq. ft playground that is 70% wheelchair accessible compared to the normal amount which is 20%.
My mom is an early intervention service coordinator which is someone who does home visits and coordinates services for children with disabilities. Her work inspires me. It can be scary for parents to have their child evaluated for a disability. My mom brings comfort to these families and works hard to get them the services they need. She is so full of compassion and light and THAT is super COOL.
Another cool thing about my mom is the fact that she practically runs a blog that hundreds of people read every morning. When I was a kid, she used to post what she called the “Morning Java Quiz” on Facebook. She would post a line to a random song and people would guess the song that the lyrics were from.
This morphed into the “blog” she has today. Every morning she posts a picture of her coffee mug (she LOVES coffee and has over 200 mugs) and she writes what’s on her heart. It could be about her weekend going to see live music or general insights and wisdom that attest to the season of life she is in. Because of this blog, people drop off coffee mugs for her from all over.
One of her students from when she student taught at an elementary school brought her a mug from Qutar! People will post their coffee cups when they are on vacation and will take pictures for her from “The Porch” when she is not home.
The most important thing that the blog has brought her is encouraging other women: “I talk to women about being in narcissistic relationships and about how they found the strength to get out! I had one reach out last week that just left. By speaking some of my truth, I feel as though it gives others the permission to do the same and examine their lives.”
My mom has a way of connecting with others and her vulnerability inspires others to be vulnerable.
I love how my mom can talk to anybody. She is the friend you could invite to any occasion and not feel awkward about what they will say or do. She is extremely personable to talk to and has the social cues to facilitate conversations.
My Aunt Kathy (her sister) is the same way, so they invite each other to events. Recently my mom met up with an old friend and he exclaimed, “Wow I do not recall the last time I saw you without Kathy!”.
I have always looked up to my mom’s interpersonal communication skills and I have utilized a lot of her skills in my daily interactions.
By now, if I have not convinced you that my mother is so much cooler than me and you combined then I do not even know what to tell you!
Mom, when you read this, I love you :) You are THE coolest.