In 2015 on a January night at the Kappa Alpha fraternity at Stanford University, two Swedish students on bikes witnessed Brock Turner, a swimmer at the university, sexually assaulting a passed-out, half-naked woman behind a dumpster. Judge Aaron Persky caused international outrage when he sentenced Turner to six months in prison even after the jury convicted him of three felonies (two for digital penetration of an unconscious or drunk person and one for assault with the intent to commit rape). The woman was referred to as “Emily Doe” for almost five years. It wasn’t until 2019 when Chanel Miller, the victim, published her memoir detailing the assault, her experience in court and living with her trauma.
I didn’t know that being a victim was synonymous with not being believed.
Know My Name by Chanel Miller: Chapter 1
A few months ago, this book appeared on my Instagram feed while reading my series’ to clear my bookshelf. While I was not ready to read it then, it held a place in my mind for months. When it came time to read my 39th book out of my 40 book challenge, I finally decided to read “Know My Name” by Chanel Miller after remembering its trademark forest green cover. I downloaded it before fall break and started it on the long drive home.
To read Chanel Miller’s memoir is to feel deeply. It is to understand how the sun rises and sets differently when dealing with trauma. Reading any old book is simple, but this book was more than words on a page; it was an experience. Miller explains life before her assault, briefly describing her childhood and the people who played a crucial role in her life. She dives into her relationship with her long-term boyfriend and her experience at UCSB, where she earned a degree in literature. I admired this part of the book, but it made me quite sad. Did she feel the need to make herself more human after the backlash she received for trying to fight for peace and justice? Then, she describes the night she was assaulted, and how it was an outing with friends turned sour. She got tacos and drinks, took shots, took dumb selfies, danced with friends, then completely blacked out. She woke up in the hospital the following day, unaware of what had happened just hours before.
How do you feel all these heavy things for the rest of your life?
Know My Name by Chanel Miller: Chapter 3
The most impactful part of the book was her struggle with the legal system. It raises the question of why we treat women and men who have been assaulted so inhumanely. I found it dehumanizing to read about how Chanel Miller had to give almost two years of her life to prove her sexual assault, even though there was physical evidence and two witnesses, just for Brock Turner to be sentenced to six months with early release for good behavior. Turner served three months. It is an affront to survivors everywhere to be told that a lifetime of recovery and trauma means less than a year of misery for the perpetrator.
Regretting drinking is not the same as regretting sexual assault. We were both drunk, the difference is I did not take off your pants and underwear, touch you inappropriately, and run away.
Know My Name by Chanel Miller: Emily Doe’s Victim Impact Statement
I am reviewing this book because of how powerful it is. I would recommend it mainly because of Emily Doe’s Victim Impact Statement. Before this book, I had never read anything that gave me chills. Her 28-page statement had an international impact. I have never read anything so brave, so compelling. She directly addresses Turner and describes the moment she practically yells her statement in the courtroom. Shortly after she addressed the court, an editor from Buzzfeed emailed her DA in search of the statement to publish. Miller, then still unnamed, agreed. The article now has tens of millions of views. When her identity was revealed, Miller received hundreds of letters and emails from other survivors and those inspired by her courage. In her concession speech in 2016, Hillary Clinton mentioned Emily Doe’s speech. Joe Biden, then Vice President to Barack Obama, wrote her a letter describing how her words made him feel and how inspiring she is.
A feminist group in China posted photos of women holding signs: Nobody earns the right to rape. It is still rape when he is a good swimmer.
Know My Name by Chanel Miller: Chapter 10
If you are looking for a book that will make you feel everything from sadness to empowerment, or if you are a survivor looking for hope, I cannot describe how important this book will be to you. If you have a few hours or so that you are looking to give up, pick up this book. You won’t regret it.